What does a 9 yo boy & a CEO have in common?

Today’s leadership kick: Quit Defending Your Limitations

After two weeks on the road with 4 boys, I was pretty damn excited to send them off to farm camp. I didn’t anticipate on Day 3 my middle son burying his head in his pillow when it was time to depart, because he felt so alone at camp. Heartbreaking! And I knew immediately this wasn’t going to be a quick fix – he wasn’t feeling good.

Similarly, hours later the exact same day, I was coaching one of my CEO’s (who might appear to have it all together on the outside) and she was sharing how blue and lonely she felt.

I wasn’t surprised to hear my CEO was feeling lonely. It’s been said many times that leadership, the top can feel very isolating. I also wasn’t overly surprised to hear my 9 year old share his feelings of loneliness, because I very much remember feeling alone at times during my childhood.


What really got me, was how BOTH of these incredible humans were convinced of their LONELINESS

I wanted to help my son move his energy – so we went for a walk. For a good part of it he went on and on about how he doesn’t have any friends there, and how his brothers weren’t playing with him. Regardless of what I said, he was still convinced there was no room for him to have a different experience. So what was the point in going?
For my client, God bless her, but she must have said the same thing 10 different ways. It simply wasn’t possible for her to feel
close to people at work because of her role. No matter what I said.

⁠⁠We can talk all day and analyze why we humans do this OR we can show up differently and therefore create completely different results. Like feeling connected.

In both situations, I asked them a version of “How’s it working for you, spending all this time and energy convincing yourself that you’re miserable and lonely?”

That woke them up!They both recognized that until they chose to lead from openness and possibility, their experience wasn’t going to change.


Can you catch if you’re defending your limitations? If so, can you look for what’s possible instead?

If you can have a breakthrough in how you’re being, you can have a different experience.


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