I ran competitively most of my childhood and one of the things I learned very quickly (in a 300M hurdle race) was when people were in eyesight of the finish line they would exhale, literally. Following the exhale they would go into cruise control. They wouldn’t necessarily back off, but they’d cruise.
That was my cue to give it everything I got, pump my arms, lengthen my stride, and lock eyes 100 yards past the finish line.
When I look at how I finish my year, business or personal, it’s no different.
The goal is to experience JOY in the midst of finishing strong.
For my super-driven people who naturally finish the year strong, pay close attention to the experience you’re having.
I bet you’re reliable to create results, but where I see an opportunity for you, is to focus on the experience while you’re taking action.
When I finished a race, I would be in my zone. I didn’t actually feel like I was “working harder” but I was committed. Because of that commitment, I felt God partnering with me (insert what you believe) and because of that, (humbly) I generally won.
We have 4 weeks left in the year, and if you’re committed to having a heart-blowing 2022, then how will you choose to BE and what action will you take to finish the year strong? (Hint: who you BE has everything to do with who you are)
For anyone who wants additional support, pls email me and I’ll share you with a special ‘End of The Year’ process I’ve been doing with my clients for years that has helped them actualize desires that they never thought was possible.
In just 24 hours, I’ll officially be a parent of a teen: Levi turns 13 tomorrow.
I’ve been reflecting so much as we come upon this milestone. All the obvious “where did the time go? How am I old enough to be a Mama of a teenager? Oh my goodness, I have 5 years left to refine this young man so he can fly….”
And, in full transparency, my relationship with my oldest is the one that challenges me the most.
Here’s the truth: what got me here as a parent, is NOT going to get me through the next 13 years.
He’s become incredibly independent. He doesn’t want my help.
He’s all about being with John, his Dad. He doesn’t want me to hang with him.
One moment he’s smiling, being silly, the next minute he’s moody and answers in one word quips: “Yes. Fine. Ok.” My old ways of poking fun or giving him a big hug to snap him out of a funk are so circa 2010.
I’ve found myself stumbling the last couple of months as I navigate the new waters because I’m craving a deeper connection with him.
Parenting is a little bit like when I had ACL surgery. Everybody has advice, and while I know people mean well, it’s not a one size fits all solution.
But for me, I know that if I want different results, I have to show up differently. How I have parented for the last 13 years isn’t (completely) how I need to parent for this next phase.
I’m finding my teen requires more acceptance and compassion from me.
AND The more that I can do that in my relationship with myself, the more I’m able to accept and have compassion for him.
So I ask you to consider…
What is your teen craving from you? & Can you also be more of that quality with yourself?
I have a hunch that whatever quality your teen is seeking (patience, compassion, trust, joy, etc.) that way of being is a muscle that you need to also stretch towards yourself.
It probably isn’t the way you’re used to relating to them, and yet remember what I said earlier? What got you here, isn’t what will get you…there.
Are you going a mile a minute with back-to-back meetings, work, children, personal projects, while thinking about what you’re cooking for dinner and getting “organized” for the holidays?
You’re left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and even bored from the groundhog’s day feeling that can arise when we push ourselves in overdrive.
I mean, seriously, where is the F-U-N
It can be easy to think that this chaotic schedule is happening to you (been there).
It’s Exercise Time
Instead of killing the fun, here’s an exercise that I give my clients that are in this de-fun spiral.
Make a list of 10 ways in which you squash fun.
Writing them down will require you to stare at how YOU are contributing to feeling overwhelmed. It can be confronting. And then choose one or two things from your list (to start) where you can show up differently in your leadership.
Here’s an example of a list I started a few years ago.
How I Squash Fun in my Daily life
Being busy every moment of the day
When I have a win, I ignore it and immediately focus on the next big opportunity
I tend to overextend myself in every area of my life.
I stay up late responding to emails. This means not being able to get up early and work out because I’m too tired.
I delay making decisions because something better may come along.
I do the easy stuff first. Which is often the mundane stuff and doesn’t inspire me at all.
I say yes to client requests no matter what.
I use fun as a ‘reward’. (Ex: I get to watch that movie once I’ve cleaned up the house)
I compare myself/my life/my kids to other people’s lives/kids.
I often over-effort/overthink.
As one of my mentors says, “this issue isn’t the issue, the issue is how you relate to the issue.”
As you move through your day, your busy week, and get ready for the holidays, I encourage you to come up with your own list of “10 ways I squash fun.”
Then stare that list in the face and see where you can show up in leadership. Can you stand in trust and not worry that that client will leave you if you say no and maintain a boundary? Can you stand in fun and choose the fun thing before the reward?
We’re here for a nanosecond and laughing and enjoying life is what it’s all about.
If you’re too busy to say yes to something you really want, are you willing to lead from a different quality in order to create it?
Almost all of my clients, and myself included, have a bias for action. We like to plow through things and get it done. That also tends to mean that are schedules are packed. Sound familiar?
Part 2 to that, those packed, productive days can also mean that when opportunities we really really want come up (professional, creative, personal, fun) we don’t know what to do.
We freeze, and often turn them down completely. Also sound familiar?
Case in Point: I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and one of my clients spontaneously invited me to the 3% Conference in Atlanta in two weeks.
I didn’t tell her this, but I’m telling you. My initial thought…. “Is she crazy? That would mean rescheduling nearly 15 client meetings across three days. And the boys… what about the boys, the homework, the cooking, and and and…”
…. Clearly, that came from fear.
Then I thought….” is she being serious?”
All the while I could feel a burst of positive energy and excitement course through my body.
Experience and impact are two values I live by, and the 3% Conference is something I’ve wanted to participate in for years. In a nutshell it’s a very established movement in the creative world that believes (as do I) that more women & more diversity = MORE creativity + more profitability.
Without speaking to my team, my husband, my kids, I blurted, “HELL YES.”
I let go of how I would make it all work and I chose to lead from trust.I get it, I really do. Leadership happens in the moment. Busy bees like us can get such tunnel vision and addicted to the high of planning and completing things, that we deny ourselves the joy of living in the moment.
But there’s another way to lead.
So this week in your leadership…
Can you identify what you’re craving, and then identify what QUALITY you need to lead from to experience that desire.
I chose trust. My team, my family, my own ability. To communicate changes and decide what things can be pushed back or let go. And I know you can choose a different quality to lead from too.
Stay tuned as I share my key takeaways and leadership growth from the 3% Conference this week (follow me on socials if you don’t already)!
I’m so glad we’re in this together learning and growing,