Self-Trust

Do you ever wonder “Is this as good as it can get?”

My oldest son’s 14th Birthday. Everybody older always tells you how quickly life goes by. It’s so cliche, but it’s so true. I found myself getting a bit nostalgic so stepped outside to write you all. When my oldest was born, we were quite settled in London and if you’d told me this PNW gal would be raising her boys in 72 and sunny LA, I never would have believed you.

I’m confident that John and I made the best choices we could, given what we knew at the moment, which have lead us to the life we’re leading now. I’m quite thankful for ALL that we’ve created and the people in our lives.

Certainly coming out of the pandemic, now more than ever I’ve found myself paying close attention to how I’m experiencing day to day, and sitting with the question

“Is this as good as it gets?”

I was in a conversation this month with a potential new client, and when I asked how things were going, he said, “pretty good. I mean I can’t complain. I have a really good job and I’m healthy.”

I dug in a bit more and asked, “On a rating scale 10 being I’m incredibly fulfilled and 0 being not so much, what number would you say?”

He answered with…

“I’m a 7. It’s good for now.”

 

A 7?! My insides shrieked, because 7 in my mind is the danger zone. It’s another way of saying, things are good. Fine.  Specifically, I make that response mean, “I should be thankful for what I have, even though things are OK, they’re but not amazing.”

I so get it. We are taught to be thankful for what we have, and to not desire more. Especially when there are people hurting more than us, and the political and economic landscape is as turbulent as it currently is right now.


I disagree. I believe now more than ever is an opportunity to evaluate the experience you’re having day to day, and ask yourself, “Is this as good as gets?”

This doesn’t have to mean you pull the ripcord and do a complete 180. It does mean that you carve out space to visit your values and measure how you’re living by them (if you don’t know your values, email me and I’ll send you my values guide to help you get clear).

It will also require you to believe that you are worthy of experiencing life a 10/10  regardless of the circumstances around you.


John and I have been doing this over the last couple of months, and recognized that within the value of connection, particularly within our family, we weren’t anywhere near a 10. We’d fallen prey to ‘life.

We’re changing things up for 2023, and I’ll be sharing more about that in the coming weeks. 

For now, as you begin to go into December, really ask yourself, ‘Is this as good as it gets?” From there, pull out those values and do some evaluating.

 

You’re worth it,

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Absolutely your Humanity + Leadership can Co-exist

My heart is numb from all that happened last week at Robb Elementary.

In fact, it’s been numb for a while as I’m still processing what happened in Buffalo. As a Mama of an 11 year old and a 9 year old boy, the pain I imagine the families feel must be unbearable and paralyzing.

Like you, my world doesn’t stop *even* when the most horrific events happen in my country. I still chose to show up and Mother. Coach. Wife. Cook. Drive the boys to various practices etc.  I laughed, I cried, I got frustrated and everything in-between.

Just because we carry on with our lives, doesn’t mean that we don’t care.

Do you ever feel like in moments like this, that you *should* be…

  • Taking moments of silence
  • Giving your team the day(s) off
  • Keeping your kids home
  • Galvanizing your community to voice your opinion about gun laws

Whatever your ‘should’ is I totally get it.

What I notice is how much we all live in an either/ or world. In other words, you can’t possibly be excited over your current WIN at work, and be grieving at the same time. 

Well I call B.S.


We are spiritual beings, having a human experience. That means our humanity can be feeling a smorgasbord of feelings at the same time – excitement, sadness, joy, nerves, rage, loneliness and so on.

In the midst of ALL of our humanity, there’s nothing wrong with you still choosing to lead in all areas of your life. Standing in responsibility and following through with your commitments. That doesn’t make you a selfish, unaware or an uncaring human being.

Your humanity and leadership are not mutually exclusive, they co-exist


What I will ask is that you give space for YOUR humanity to breathe as well as your teams. In practical ways this looks like:

  • Building in space for you to share your feelings (yes people, talk about how you feel…it’s super liberating, and the more you do it, the more you give others the opportunity to express themselves
  • Loosen the reins on the work agenda, and make space at the start of work calls to check in with your people.

If you feel called to do more, then wonderful. Take the pressure off and be with ALL of your humanity and continue to lead in service to sharing your full self with the world.

 

If you want support around this, just hit me back.

I got you,

 

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Creating a Culture of Candor

Well, Good Morning, you.

Are you ready to embrace the day!? Here’s what I’ve been seeing this week that may help you lean into the day as a stronger leader….

So for context, I spend a lot of time with corporate execs from creative agencies and foundations, and one of the biggest desires I’m hearing from them is a culture of candor.


I credit companies like Amazon, MSFT and Netflix for leading the way 4-5 years ago to create cultures where it became expected to speak your truth in service to tearing down ideas, and leaving no rock unturned.  Caveat- I’m not saying that they’re nailing it, but I am saying they kicked off a trend. But I would still hear stories about how these exchanges would go, and quite honestly, it frightened me.
There was an undercurrent of ‘its business…leave your feelings out of it’ which results in a lack of harmony and collaboration, and more of a ‘get it done’ attitude.

Today, the desire for a culture of candor is even more present, but what got us there 4 years ago, isn’t what will get us to that brutally open, honest and transparent culture now.


I was coaching two groups of creative execs this week, and was blown away by how each of them were showing up. Both groups have big missions, big revenues to hit and lots of employees to manage – and each meeting was two hours (not a lot of time to jam through the top priorities).

What stood out to me was how these execs were relating to one another:

1. People were giving feedback in a way that was direct and respectful.
2. People were actively listening to one another, instead of talking over each other.
3. People were genuinely curious about other’s people’s ideas and how they arrived at certain decisions.
These execs had dropped their armour and lead from open hearts.

People don’t use the world ‘love’ much with leadership, but it’s the secret sauce to growing your culture and ultimately your bottom line. I’m literally watching my clients experience transformation and they’re creating a ripple in their organizations.


Remember, how the leader is being, is how the team is being. 

I’ve been working with these groups for the past year and they’re incredible examples of exec teams prioritizing doing the work on their leadership and who they are in the world.

As a result, they’re pacing ahead on their revenue and, equally important, they’re on their way to creating cultures that foster transparency and humanity at the same time.

(It’s the humanity that was getting left out pre-Covid btw).


I can’t say it enough, investing in your teams is one of the greatest gifts you can give your people. If you’re looking for an immediate baby step to help you drop your armor, and instead lead from an open heart so you can experience more candor in any of your relationships, check out Brene Brown’s new doc series on HBO Max, ‘Atlas of the Heart.’  Her ability to breakdown emotions and put words to them (remember it’s our emotions that we hide behind when we experience fear) is so valuable. John and I watched it together, and it sparked a ton of really important conversations that I experienced bringing us closer.

SO HERE’S SMTH FOR YOU TO CONSIDER THIS WEEK….

If you were to 10x your ability to be more transparent and honest in any area of your life, what’s the biggest impact you can imagine creating?

That is what I want for you!

 

Much Love,

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We Spent a Week in Belize 🌴

We just returned from a week in Belize.

It’s incredible what happens when you create space in your life and protect it with clear boundaries. Despite having a very full business and an incredibly loving and involved husband, I was feeling conflicted the month leading up to this holiday – excitement for what’s to come, grief over past losses, anxiety and confusion over what I want to create next in my business. All of my humanity was showing up as a 10! I could feel myself wanting answers, solutions, a playbook stat, leaving very little reverence for where I was at that particular moment.  And, not a lot of curiosity for what was underneath those feelings, which — spoiler alert — was a lot of “should” and “expectations” for what I should want and what I should be doing.  I bet you can relate?

When we left for this trip, I vowed to my clients, my friends, and my team that I would not be bringing my laptop, AND I would not be online at all: no texts, emails, or social posts. Zilch. And truthfully, I was really looking forward to being unavailable (I still had my 3 little[ish] people, so it wasn’t like I was entirely free from responsibility).


For us driven peeps who are incredibly reliable to be productive, get in the trenches and see it through, no matter what, it was a major victory for me in keeping my commitment to myself and honoring the boundaries I’d set. That happens on the soul level, and that is what I call leadership transformation.

The ability to transform who we BE in our soul, in service to experiencing more internal harmony, growing spiritually while creating our true desires in the physical world.

It’s not lost on me for one moment how fortunate we are as a family to be able to travel AND the choices we’ve made that have allowed us to create the life we leave.

 

I intentionally designed this holiday, so that we would be integrated into the local culture and environment and away from tourists, big hotels and, busyness. I wanted to be influenced by the Caribbean way of life, not the Western culture that I live and breathe every day.

 

We spent the first half of our trip on a secluded island with a very small group of people and several local guides. We slept in clean, airy tents and enjoyed fresh homemade meals by two women who were locals from a nearby town on the coast and who proudly presented each meal with gratitude and excitement. The beach had beautiful white sand with loads of local birds, hermit crabs, and iguanas running free plus vibrant hammocks hanging throughout our camp. I was gobsmacked by the beauty and the love these women poured into the preparation of delicious yet very simple meals.

 

 


The days were filled will snorkeling with nurse sharks and spotted rays, fishing, kayak-sailing, stand-up paddleboarding, and my favorite hammock surfing.  Not a hotel or car in site (or tourist for that matter aside from our little group).  This way of life created a clearing for creative thoughts to flourish.

Every morning, I would wake up to the ocean breeze, beaming hot sun, and the feeling of wonder and possibility as we started each day. My mind had begun to relax, and I could feel calm throughout my body and spaciousness in the days to come. Because I had set such clear boundaries and stuck to them, I was in a position to fully take in and receive what was available each day. The weather in the Caribbean is quite unpredictable and, because of that, we didn’t know what activities we could do until that morning.  There was a sense of mystery and unknown about each day, but my relationship to uncertainty was shifting. Instead of feeling anxious, worn out, and worried, I was feeling curious, excited, and calm.

Clarity and creativity come with space.

There’s just no way around it.


When I first take on a new client or a team of leaders, I see their struggle to birth new ideas, and yet be productive at the same time. It’s not that they’re mutually exclusive, but any kind of expansion requires spaciousness to explore and be curious. Days that aren’t filled with back-to-back meetings, meal prep, homework help, and so on. It requires leadership transformation – a commitment at the soul level to surrender and trust that the world you’ve built around you will hold as you step away to slow down.

What would be possible if you were to commit to trusting that the world around you is strong enough to withstand your absence at times if you were to create more space throughout your days? What would you have MORE of that you currently don’t have at all?

As I step back into ALL of my responsibilities (full on, as my husband is back east all week), I will experience contraction as that’s the result of expansion. I’ve intentionally created space to move my body, connect with friends, and serve my clients in a way that allows me to show up from a place of fullness, rather than a deficit.


This wouldn’t be possible without the ongoing transformation I’ve committed to creating in my leadership (shout out to my coaches for all of your support!).

I want this for you, too.

It’s so much more fulfilling and fun. I’ve opened up space in my diary at the end of the month for 3 people or organizations who would like to experience a complimentary coaching conversation in service to exploring what’s possible right now for you or your team.

Email me to grab one of the spots. 

 

Anything is possible,

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One of the greatest moments in leadership came from the Oscars

What a week!

Yes, I live in LA, and work amongst a lot of people in the creative industry, but I still couldn’t get over how many conversations I heard in the past week following the Chris Rock + Will Smith moment at the Oscars.  Not to mention all of the op-ed pieces, social posts, and memes written from all around the world.

The conversation that interests me the most is actually one I haven’t heard discussed much and it’s about Chris Rock’s ability to lead in the face of any circumstance.

To be clear – I’m NOT saying I thought his joke was ok, but the conversation I want to point to has nothing to do with the content itself – it has everything to do with how we relate to circumstance, person, event, etc. I’m a big believer that the issue is never the issue, instead, the issue is how we relate to the issue (read that twice)!

When I think about leadership opportunities for my clients (and myself) across the boardroom, in marriages, and with our children, it all comes down to how we show up at the moment and relate to the person or situation.
Every single one of us has found ourselves in situations where we feel fired up, embarrassed, disappointed, dismissed, ignored (I could go on).  Chris Rock showed us that even when you’re feeling all the feels, it is possible to hunker down in your body and stand grounded and calm. That struck me as an incredibly teachable moment in leadership. He made it look easy.

Brene Brown does an impeccable job in her latest book and TV series, “Atlas of the Heart” helping us build a bridge between our thinking and our emotion, so when we put our head on our pillows at night we can look back and know that we were leading from integrity.

Not the wild ego that lives inside of us and can attack viciously, leaving us feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

It’s that bridge that allows us to connect to others, but ultimately stay connected to ourselves during the most difficult times when we start to feel the charge inside of us.

When I watched Chris Rock during that moment, I imagined the charge in his body that lit up. The pressure of having so many eyes on him, the shock of a physical slap, the part of him that felt foolish and wanted to get revenge… and yet, in a moment, in one second, he was able to ground his feelings, and leverage the bridge between his thinking and his emotions. He showed up calm and open.

That required courage and vulnerability.

Can you imagine a world where every single one of us, despite our feelings getting completely bent out of shape at times, and yet LEADING the way in which Chris Rock did?

Imagine the next argument with your partner or your teen, and instead of doing the thing you always do (dismiss, blow up…fill in the blank) you respond vs. react. Or a colleague gives you feedback that you totally disagree with and yet you’re able to stay connected to yourself and them, and even finish the conversation still feeling connected to one another?

*That* is leadership.

So the question for you, my friends becomes…

Question:

What would you have in your life (that you don’t currently have) if you strengthened your ability to lead in those difficult moments – instead of being reactionary?

 

That’s what I call leadership and it’s really the *thing* that defines us and redefines us, and it happens in a moment.

 

Anything is possible,

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Are you too busy to accept an opportunity?

THIS WEEKS LEADERSHIP INSIGHT

If you’re too busy to say yes to something you really want, are you willing to lead from a different quality in order to create it?

Almost all of my clients, and myself included, have a bias for action. We like to plow through things and get it done. That also tends to mean that are schedules are packed. Sound familiar?

Part 2 to that, those packed, productive days can also mean that when opportunities we really really want come up (professional, creative, personal, fun) we don’t know what to do.


We freeze, and often turn them down completely. Also sound familiar?
Case in Point: I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and one of my clients spontaneously invited me to the 3% Conference in Atlanta in two weeks.

I didn’t tell her this, but I’m telling you. My initial thought…. “Is she crazy? That would mean rescheduling nearly 15 client meetings across three days. And the boys… what about the boys, the homework, the cooking, and and and…”

…. Clearly, that came from fear.

Then I thought….” is she being serious?”
All the while I could feel a burst of positive energy and excitement course through my body.

Experience and impact are two values I live by, and the 3% Conference is something I’ve wanted to participate in for years. In a nutshell it’s a very established movement in the creative world that believes (as do I) that more women & more diversity = MORE creativity  + more profitability.


Without speaking to my team, my husband, my kids, I blurted, “HELL YES.”
I let go of how I would make it all work and I chose to lead from trust.I get it, I really do. Leadership happens in the moment. Busy bees like us can get such tunnel vision and addicted to the high of planning and completing things, that we deny ourselves the joy of living in the moment.
But there’s another way to lead.

So this week in your leadership…

Can you identify what you’re craving, and then identify what QUALITY you need to lead from to experience that desire.

I chose trust. My team, my family, my own ability. To communicate changes and decide what things can be pushed back or let go. And I know you can choose a different quality to lead from too.

 

Stay tuned as I share my key takeaways and leadership growth from the 3% Conference this week (follow me on socials if you don’t already)!

I’m so glad we’re in this together learning and growing,

XX,

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Was anyone ready for this week?

We’re on the brink of the holiday season and I’m slipping into old patterns.
We waited until this week to sort out Halloween costumes, and Amazon was not an option (gone are the days of excitement and appreciation for my handmade Halloween costumes). Sure enough, we were driving from one Halloween store to another trying to track down a very specific costume.

I could feel the tiredness and irritability setting in. As I was sitting in peak LA traffic with one of my boys and literally asking myself, “What are we doing? Did I learn anything from COVID?” The impact of my choice to drive around looking for one specific costume felt chaotic and wasn’t in alignment with the feeling of grace and ease I desire.

Does anyone else relate to leaving something to the last minutes only to create a chaotic, frustrating experience for yourself?
But I caught it – I noticed that I was leading from that place of chaos and frustration and I checked it.
If anything, COVID taught me to roll with things – to stay open – to lead from a place of flexibility and to model that for those around me.
That’s how leadership works. It’s a choice. It requires us to be an active participant. Even if you’re facing extreme circumstances, it still comes down to you choosing leadership from moment to moment. And yes, it can feel very uncomfortable.

I have a hunch that the holidays are going to test us this year. Most of us are still climbing out of a dark hole adjusting to socializing again. Sorting out the dance between supporting our own needs while also delivering on all of our commitments.

As we approach the holiday season, what quality will you choose to lead from in service to having the experience you desire?

I’m choosing openness, with the intention of not being attached to an outcome because I know that’s how pinch-me-moments happen. Bring on the ease and grace, please!

I can’t wait.

XX,

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Do you CHOOSE possibility or do you argue for your limitations?

Today’s leadership kick: Where do you argue for your limitations/life circumstances instead of choosing possibility?

I just returned from 4 days in the majestic National Zion Park, where I hosted the retreat for The Board. These women have spent 9 months consistently choosing to show up for each other and themselves. Through two hour group coaching calls they grew their leadership and experience into the most authentic and powerful version of themselves.  These women, like you, live very active lives. CEO’s, Entrepreneurs, Mothers, and had every good reason to cancel up until the last minute…BUT they didn’t.

They chose to come.

They chose to lead from curiosity.

Courage.
Growth.
Desires.

They chose to BE uncomfortable.

 

Where most people want something different but continue to cling to cruise control, these women chose otherwise.

A lot of people talk about wanting to grow their leadership by reading a self-help book or listening to a podcast, but then get distracted with life and rarely anything changes
Not my people.

These women experienced their edge when it came to their own leadership last weekend. I was reminded that there is no replacement for experiencing coaching in the great outdoors.  There’s a depth in the connection that gets created and that lends itself, so beautifully, to people dropping their armor and opening their hearts to being a stand for one another.


Ah-ha Highlights

At one point, one of the women said how much she loved the hike, but hated having to look down all the time to avoid tripping on the rocks.  Hours later realizing that was a telling metaphor for how she shows up in life –

if she’s constantly focused on what’s WAY out in front of her, it can lead to future tripping ⇢ which can stir up anxiety and in-action.
Realizing there are times where it’s necessary to focus on what’s right in front of her if she wants to take action and make changes.


Another Board member noticed she often chose to be in the back of the hikes, and when she would move to the front of the group, she felt wildly uncomfortable! She made it mean, in her head, that somehow she wasn’t as strong of a leader as the other women because she wasn’t in the front. Only to realize that leadership doesn’t look one way –  and for her, hanging back and bringing up the rear allowed her to lead authentically.

If it weren’t for these women sitting in their discomfort and expanding their ability to sit in it, they wouldn’t have experienced these insights.

Subtle yes. Transformative, you better believe it. 

You can read a version of this kind of growth somewhere, but when you experience it, embody it, that’s when you physically begin to show up differently in situations and lead from a more conscious place.

SO….WITH THAT

I have so much more to share, but for now, consider, “Who do you want to BE?”

How will you choose to BE in order to show up in leadership in ALL areas of your life?

If you’re one of my people and believe revolutionary growth happens inside revolutionary relationships, DM me to learn more about The Board 2022. We start in Feb. and the first spot has already been claimed! And…I’ll be announcing something very special about The Board for 2022 this week that has ME leaning into my edge.

Will you choose YOU this coming year?
Never underestimate possible.

I believe in you,

XX,

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Preparing for something important?

Today’s leadership kick: Before that big event or meeting, take the time to create a vision for how you want to experience it. Then let that vision guide the choices you make.

This Friday I’ll be heading to Zion National Park with a group of incredibly driven, open-hearted, growth-minded women who have been part of my group coaching program over the last 9 months.

These are driven women who wear many different hats.  They are committed to growing their own leadership while at the same time being a stand for one another in a very honest, transparent and open-hearted way. It’s required a big investment of time, money, and energy. So now we’re off to do the work in-person in the midst of magical Zion.

For me, there was a time leading up to big meetings and events where the week prior would feel chaotic. I’d have an endless list of things to do, and quite frankly, wasn’t a whole lot of fun to be around because of how much pressure I’d put on myself. The big meeting/event would ultimately go well but the experience leading up was so far from what I wanted and I simply put I didn’t know any other way to BE.

How do you show up prior to an important work event?
  • Do you jam-pack your schedule?
  • Over-prepare to the point where you’re staying up late and then feel rubbish the next morning?
  • Do you become snippy with people around you?
  • Do you question if you know enough?
  • Do you obsess over all the details?
  • Do you feel a huge sense of relief when you actually get on the other side of the event?

If any of the above resonates with you, I so get it. I’ve realized through my own growth that the experience leading up to the event/meeting is equally important to me.

In fact, I often find it’s more enjoyable or equal to the event itself.  As I go into the final week leading up to this retreat now, I still feel a variety of emotions: excitement, jitters, a bit of anxiousness – but above all I feel calm and grounded.

That question will draw you into the present moment, and from there you can choose to course correct and lead from such qualities like curiosity, vulnerability, grace, etc.. And as a bonus, here’s a pro-tip.

Regardless of how big the event or meeting is, take time to create a vision for how you want to experience it. This will give altitude while also connecting you to the experience, instead of focusing on the end result. Length of your vision doesn’t matter, so don’t get caught up! Write your vision in the present tense and remember, it’s this vision or something even better for your highest good.

Then let that vision guide the choices you make.

For example: I’ve cleared my evenings this week, so I have space to relax and rest. I’ve also let colleagues know that I’ll be less available this week. Not so I can fill that time but so I can create space. That space is what allows me to lead with a wide-open heart. This is the key to being an impactful and effective leader.

I’ll be sharing more about Zion as I have insights and learnings for you all, but in the meantime, slow your roll if you want to experience the gold that’s available to you in those BIG moments.

I believe in you,

XX,

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Do you judge yourself?

Today’s leadership kick: It’s hard to show up in leadership if you’re full of judgment.

I had a doozy of a day last week. I was in a coaching session with a client who generously provided some feedback and my ego had a heyday. Before I knew it I had a pit in my stomach, I started to sweat, and my speaking sped up. I started talking too much, which is always a sign that I’m working way too hard trying to prove something. I’d lost my way, clearly, and it felt crappy in the moment and even crappier when I got off the call.

Fortunately for me, I had my weekly call with two coaches I work with directly after.  By this point, I was in a giant shame spiral and wishing I’d handled it differently.

One of the coaches gracefully reminded me about a concept from one of my favorite leadership books, ‘Getting Real’: the idea that I can go out and come back in.
As soon as she said it, my little voice went: ‘my clients, friends, and children get do-overs, but I certainly don’t.

Then it hit me. Why the heck not?!

I realized I have a pattern. When I don’t get something right, I beat myself up about it, leaking energy all over the place, which in turn keeps me from “going back in” and giving myself a do-over.  And because I had little-to-no self-forgiveness for how I’d shown up, I had zero capacity to see what was possible by going back to the client and cleaning it up.

” It’s hard to show up in leadership if who you’re BEING in the moment is full of judgment.”

So I got to work on the self-forgiveness bit – I’ll share practical pro tips on that in the coming weeks. I found compassion for ‘not getting it right the first time.’  Then I was empowered to go back to my client and have the conversation again but from a place of responsibility and accountability. 

It was another reminder that we have leadership moments all day long. The more we choose to BE in leadership, to cause leadership vs. be at the effect of it, the more we’re able to experience possibility and compassion for ourselves.

I believe in you,

XX,

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What’s the Last Decision You Made for Yourself?

Today’s leadership kick: Decision-making flows more easily when we’re integral to ourselves.

I’m really noticing how many people are ‘coping’ with the world right now.  Hanging on by a thread, grinding it out, rinse and repeat, left with the impact of feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and isolated.

When I put it that way doesn’t it sound miserable?

Not to be a complete Debbie Downer, but on top of that, I’m experiencing folks not want to admit how they’re really feeling, as if there’s this implied unspoken thing in the air that because we’re not in full-lockdown, we should be grateful.

 

From what I’ve seen through my clients, friends, neighbors to strangers in the grocery store, it’s truly impacting people’s ability to feel connected to themselves and to others.

People’s ability to lead has faced so much resistance over the last 18 months of the pandemic, that they’re settling for ‘coping’ as their daily strategy to get by.

As soon as we start to settle for mediocracy or “just enough” as our leadership style, it begins to impact our relationship to decision-making and our ability to hear feedback from those around us.  Thurs creating massive energy leaks all of the place and leaving us to feel even more disconnected.

This is why I’m running my Circuit Board program again, starting Oct. 7th.
I strongly believe that focusing on our leadership, in all aspects of our lives reflects in how we’re showing up in key moments. Despite whatever circumstances we’re facing, is actually one of our very best tools to best manage stress and our well-being.
This program is extremely intentional and designed for the driven, over-extended person. It’s 6 consecutive weeks, 75-minute group coaching sessions on zoom. Yes, Zoom. Trust me, I  have a knack for coaching groups over zoom and creating a container that fosters a safe place to share, be coached and experience transformation.
If your goal is to feel more connected, to lead from a place of confidence, calm and grounded then you’ll LOVE this program.

We’re focusing on three key themes:

Leadership is more than just doing. It starts with how we show up. Our way of being dictates how we do things. Both our way of being and our doing, play a role in our well-being. You follow?
Collectively, we’re use to the ‘doing’ part of leading, but it’s really who you’re being underneath all that doing, that I find needs the tweaking.

Decision-making flows more easily when we’re integral to ourselves.

If you’re someone who lives in a right, wrong context or is a waffler, then you’re leaking energy all over the place. No wonder you’re exhausted! It’s time to cut those leaks.

 

Love is at the heart of leadership. In order to lead from an open heart, we must unearth our personal relationship to feedback. This directly impacts our ability to connect. I find everyone, and I do mean everyone, struggles with receiving feedback. Some more than others… But if you’re one of my people who really gets triggered, oh man, you’re leaking energy all of the place, which is a big contributor to feeling disconnected.


I want to support people in reigniting their ability to lead. Specifically in their relationship to decision making and feedback, so they can feel connected. It’s from that place that we feel energized, creative and like ourselves.

I want to help as many of you as I can; which is why I’ve made this a 6-week program and priced it at 1K. My shortest program and my most affordable.

If you’re committed to leading from a place of connection, you belong in this program. If you’re managing teams, this is a fantastic program for them.

I believe in you,

XX,

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Are you Decisive?

Today’s leadership kick: Close one of your biggest ENERGY LEAKS by improving your decision-making skills

* Do you wake up with a million thoughts going through your head and debate for a few minutes where to begin?

* Do you debate decisions at work, causing you to spend extra energy on something, only to leave you feeling depleted and anxious?

* Do you stare at your clothes and question what to wear only to default to the same go-to outfit?

* Do you debate taking that guys/girl’s trip and end up waiting until the last minute, only to cause confusion and frustration for all of those involved?

Likely if you answered YES to several of these, you’re operating from a context that there’s a ‘wrong decision’.

Which creates massive fear in your decision-making process.

Which results in feeling flustered, anxious, and overwhelmed.

I know, because for years I struggled with making decisions and it got in the way of how I lead in my business and my home –  talk about a pet peeve of my husband!

Making decisions in a timely manner and not looking back, has elevated my leadership ten-fold in ALL areas of my life, and created a sense of calm throughout my day…rather than leaking energy all over the place.

To sharpen your decision-making skills, here are a few criteria I use, regardless of how small or important the decision is:

For example: are you thinking that there’s no wrong decision, or are you thinking that one decision is better than another?

Hint: If you’re answering that there’s a wrong decision, please ask yourself, “How do you know?”


Notice your thoughts. Do you have thoughts that are competing with choosing the decision that stretches you? Does that thought support growth or keeping you small?

Being a sharpshooter when it comes to decision-making is incredibly important if you’re committed to your leadership. Which is why I’m coaching around this in my upcoming group leadership program The Circuit Board. I have a hunch that you want to experience more growth, which means more of life on your edge that incorporates YOUR needs.

 So when you go forth today, what decisions can you make that will help you grow?! Because those decisions will, in turn, ultimately give you more of what you want. 

Believing in you,

XX

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Stop Saying It Will Be Hard

Today’s leadership kick: Stop saying it will be hard and choose a different context to lead from.

Alright. I’ve been sitting on this for a while because it goes against what some of my most treasured writers and mentors reiterate over and over.  But I can’t hide my truth.

Absolutely, us humans CAN DO hard things. Need proof? Just look around.

I noticed this week:

  • A single mom raising three teenagers while working full-time
  • A 13 year old stepping into their sexuality and gender preference by sharing it with her family
  • The homeless person on the corner who’s just slept all night on the streets

Choosing to live by the mantra “I can do hard things” will actually keep reinforcing that things are hard.

WHY?

Because that’s the context you’re choosing to buy into. If you approach your day, that conversation, that idea, that big event as “this is going to be hard,” you’re damn right, it will be. Every time.

Understanding context will help you lead in a way that feels empowering and doable. Most of us default to circumstances informing our context. For ex: we just moved to a new house. If I tell myself weeks on end this is going to be so hard because we have to move with 3 kids in tow, how do you think I’ll experience it?

Or, I was on with a Creative Director this week and he mentioned he needs to have a conversation with a colleague and didn’t want to have it because it was going to be “hard.”

I asked him, “How do you know?

Which of course he then responded with a variety of reasons as to why it would be hard. All of which were assumptions. They might have even been good assumptions based on previous experiences, but they were still assumptions.

I challenged him to consider a different context to lead from. He chose curiosity. We worked on how he could frame having the conversation from a place of curiosity, and different language tone, and CONTEXT started to percolate. And guess what?! He started to feel more grounded and calm – which will no doubt help how he starts that conversation.

Instead of telling yourself, you can do hard things, which reinforces that it will be hard, choose a different context.


I’m leaning into the mantra  “We can BE uncomfortable.” Because I know when I choose to get outside of my comfort zone and feel the jitters that arise in that space, that’s where magic happens. By living from that context, I notice it creates a crack in the experience for light to come in and often more times than not, it wasn’t ALL hard.

Context is everything.  Everything. If you don’t choose your context for the day, trust me, the world will choose it for you.

SO IN YOUR LEADERSHIP THIS WEEK….

Notice if your telling yourself that things will be hard, and then buying into it even more by telling yourself you can do hard things *we know you can*.

Instead, what context might you choose to live from today?  

I’m choosing to remind myself that “we { I } can be uncomfortable.” 

Believing in you,

XX,

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How do you do Endings?

Today’s leadership kick: Your Leadership In Endings

Have you thought of it that way?! 🤔⁠⁠
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Do you linger until you’re the last one there?⁠⁠
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Do you do an Irish exist?⁠⁠
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Do you start to withdraw near the end and move on to the next thing?⁠⁠
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Do you promise to keep in touch but then never do?⁠⁠
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Do you walk down memory lane during the end?⁠⁠
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Do you get a pit in your stomach and feel lonely?⁠⁠
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It’s not that there’s a wrong way or a right way when it comes to endings, but I do believe it’s an opportunity to get complete with whatever is coming to an end. To say what you need to say, so that when you put your head on your pillow at night you have zero regrets. ⁠⁠
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Because endings can be painful. It can be tempting to skip right over them and not let yourself feel all the feels. If you choose to lead that way, you risk skipping over gold that’s available to you.

 

XX,

Sarah Gibbons signature

Join Me in the Spiritual Olympics

I am huge fan of the Olympics (that part doesn’t embarrass me). As I huddle around our iMac monitor (we got rid of our TV — that’s a different a blog post!) with my oldest son, watching the Men’s 4×100 take to pool, I realized (AGAIN) in that moment that anything is possible.

I found myself filled with butterflies and nostalgia for the wholeness I experienced when I was a little girl. I yearned for the no holds barred dedication to the belief that anything was possible. With commitment and self-discipline, the sky was the limit. Above all, there was the attachment to the belief at the end of the day, no matter what happened, I did my best. I knew I was good enough.

As we continued to watch, I saw that self-assured, positive childs’ spirit in my son as he cheered on the Americans. When the Americans didn’t win, he moved on in a split second. He got behind the Brit. Or, maybe it was the French? He didn’t get caught up with why the American lost. He wasn’t blindsided with beliefs that one country was better than the other, or that one athlete was faster, smarter and an all around a better athlete. Instead, without hesitation, he knew the American had given his all — he made it to the Olympics! — and that it was okay he didn’t win. It didn’t make him less than the other athletes. Then, he proceeded to cheer for the other athletes who came in 1st and 2nd. I was amazed at how he didn’t feel such disappointment (he wasn’t attached to the expectation of the American winning like us adults) and moved into acceptance so quickly.

Our children are such beautiful reminders of what it’s like to live in a world before life experiences take over and we form limiting beliefs that can stop us from playing a bigger game. They are constant reminders that anything is possible and by not being attached to an outcome allows for miracles to happen.  

What I’m a little embarrassed about is that I got rather emotional witnessing my son’s experience of the Olympics.

It made me realize that even though I’ve committed my life to self-growth, I still operate with several limiting beliefs that have hold me back from experiencing the best version of myself. I decided to enter my own ‘Spiritual Olympics’ and got to work with pen and paper with the intention of healing whatever it was that was causing my emotional reaction.  

It’s up to us to change within, so that we can elevate our own mindset and make a meaningful impact in how we engage in the world, with others, and with ourselves.

I am sharing the exact question I asked myself in the hope that it helps you heal, expand, and grow into becoming the woman, Mom, wife, friend you want to be.

“What is the biggest limiting belief you’re buying into today, and how would your life change if you were to let it go?”

You can write it down. You can talk it out with a loved one. Just get it out. I want you to just imagine setting it free. Give yourself permission to believe anything is possible, just as you did before you starting forming beliefs when you were young.

When you’re ready, test yourself. What’s one step you can take that will move yourself forward in the direction you want to go? Make it small. Just create movement. In order to experience our deepest desires, we must compete in our own Spiritual Olympics. Remember that dedication and self-discipline you had as a child? I’m encouraging you to connect with it. Let it be the thread that brings you back to the belief that yes, anything is possible, and you can experience the life you desire. Each day continue to invest in your soul and nurture yourself. 
Infinite love for you,

Sarah x

 

The 1-minute practice that will change your entire day

How do you experience your morning before work?

How do you prepare for a huge presentation?

How do you prepare for an emotional conversation with your partner?

Do you dive into the deep end, hoping that it will all work out? I hear from so many ambitious women how their to-do lists are never-ending, work is ongoing, and they feel more and more disconnected from their partners.

Guess what? I’ve been there. It isn’t pretty. It isn’t fun.

Years ago, I was introduced to the concept of setting intentions. Note that this is not goal setting. Intention setting allows you to stay connected to your purpose and your intuition. It’s something that I infuse throughout my days because it’s a way for me to get laser-focused on how I want to experience what’s in front of me while remaining in alignment with who I want to be in the world. Sometimes there’s a misunderstanding that by setting intentions, you’re simply adding to your to-do list. Intentions are not to-do items.

Instead, you’re getting silent for a moment and getting crystal clear on how you want to feel in the upcoming experience. From there, you’re invoking an energy inside of yourself and asking the Universe to support you in receiving whatever it is that you need to receive, so you can be the person you want to be. Think about this as it relates to the three scenarios above and the different personality types you want to be in those various situations.

Another way to look at it is that you’re surrendering to the Universe and asking for help. Now, you may be thinking that sounds too woo woo. Hang in here with me!

What we know to be true is that the Universe meets us at the point of action; it’s there to support what we desire. By asking for what we want, we’re creating space for co-creation to happen. Some people call these experiences coincidences, but these are, in fact, moments when the Universe is working on our behalf.

Here are the steps to setting a powerful intention:

Activate your intuition.
State a clear intention that infuses what you want and how you want to experience it.
Detach from outcome expectations you may trap yourself into predicting once you’ve set your intention. Add the following language after your intention, “‘This something even better for my highest good.” By doing this, you’re trusting that if the experience doesn’t manifest the way in which you asked, it will turn out even better than you had imagined later because the Universe is working in accordance for your highest good.

Just one more tip: Use your words. These aren’t about getting fancy and using as many descriptive words as possible. This is about using words that resonate with you. Generally, short and simple is best!

Here are some examples for intention setting to get your mind going.

Hectic morning hour:
It’s my intention to be present, calm, and loving with myself, my children, and my partner as I begin the day.

Heading into huge presentation at work:
It’s my intention to show up fully and to deliver my message confidently and clearly, in a way that leaves others feeling inspired.

Conversation with your partner:
It’s my intention to be vulnerable and to listen with open mind and heart.

It’s my intention to help ambitious women live consciously with grace and ease. This or something even better for my highest good.

As you can see, you can frame intentions however you like and, most importantly, you want to have them handy, so you can review.

I’m encouraging each of you to try intention setting. Even if it feels a little out there. This has transformed the way in which I experience everything. From high profile work meetings, powerful coaching sessions, meaningful conversations with my husband, to heartfelt conversations with my children and girlfriends.

Here’s to intention setting and experiencing yourself fully,

What I Don’t Want You To Know About Me

IMG_9355I’m coming off a spiritual high! Last week, I gifted myself a four day intensive workshop with one of my mentors and a world class coach. Then, I attended Oprah’s Super Soul Sessions, featuring Oprah herself and ten of today’s most conscious thought leaders. A dream come true. Seriously.

I witnessed a whole lot of magnificence, a whole lot of inspiration, and whole lot of vulnerability.  I realized that I felt most alive when those sharing were completely present, less concerned about nailing every point and more concerned with being real.

What mattered most was their vulnerability and energy vs. perfection of the delivery.

This got me thinking. How I can feel more connected to each one of you? It can be hard to initiate that connection over the Internet! Last week, I played this game with some colleagues and thought it was brilliant, so thought I would play it with you in effort to share more of the real me.

Here are Nine Things I Don’t Want You To Know About Me. My intention is to create connection and stimulate curiosity about who you’re here to become, so you can experience the fullness of who you are.

Without further ado, here are 9 things I don’t want you to know about me:

  1. I get caught up with getting it right. Even though I know that taking action creates movement, I fall prey to stalling in pursuit of perfectionism.
  2. Despite two years of planning, I was terrified to quit my stable, comfortable, corporate job to coach full time. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to ‘make it’ as a coach.
  3. I cry at everything. When I say goodbye to friends, the thought of my seven year old turning eight, being in the presence of Oprah this past weekend. My husband tells me, “my feelers have feelers.” I’m overly emotional.
  4. Until two years ago, I couldn’t tell you any of my dreams because I didn’t have any. I’d lost sight of who I was.
  5. I would have preferred to have a brother or sister. Being an only child is lonely.
  6. I raise my voice at my children more times than I’d care to mention. I’m embarrassed about how impatient I can be.
  7. I have a huge inner critic; actually a committee of critics. It paralyzes me if I’m not careful and leads to major self-doubt.
  8. I get defensive easily, especially with my husband, and it’s the cause of many of arguments. It’s something I have to work on everyday.
  9. I’m afraid of dying, despite my deeply spiritual beliefs. The thought of not being with my family in the physical world scares me. This can make me feel like a fraud given what I practice spiritually.

Whew. I feel a bit exposed and lighter. I want to feel more connected to you so what about this idea: Will you share with me one thing that you don’t want me to know about YOU by emailing sarah@consciousworkingmama.com?

I love this exercise because vulnerability assists you in facing your fears. I’m inviting you to try this and see where it takes you.

I’m waiting to hear from you,

How to get unstuck

One word: Commitment.

I use to think it was about having it all figured out. Once I had the road map, then I wouldn’t feel stuck. Then, I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed with family obligations. Then, I would feel fulfilled at work. Then, I would feel sexier and more playful. Finally, I would feel happier.

What I found was that I didn’t need a blueprint. While it certainly helped to have a vision, what got me out of feeling stuck and going for my biggest desires was my commitment. I think this quote sums it up so beautifully:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

– William Hutchinson Murray

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Here’s my two-step process to help me get crystal clear on my commitments:

1. What are you most committed to in your life and are they in alignment with your values and greatest vision for yourself?

Or, are they serving as distractions, keeping you comfortable and allowing you to coast on cruise control?

Sit with that question for a minute. This is one of those questions I ask myself daily. Because it gives me insight into how to make my next move whether it be building out a new program in CWM, which personal friendships to invest time into or how I choose to spend a Sunday afternoon. Once you get clear on what you’re most committed to, ask yourself the following questions.

2.  What part of me is making this decision? Is it my ego or is it from my highest self?

Our egos are quick to respond for us. Generally, this is what keeps us saying YES and wanting to please people before taking care of our own needs first. Consider yourself first when you’re evaluating where your decision is coming from. Slow down, sisters, when you ask yourself this question. There’s no need to rush.

In addition to being part of the CWM community, the common thread in the success stories of these ladies is that they committed themselves to experiencing the truth of who they are. Just feel that for a minute. That’s huge. These ladies were determined to have the full experience of who they are. This sometimes meant living on their edge and changing things up drastically, so they could experience a different outcome. It also meant taking daily steps. What we know to be true is action creates movement — even the tiniest action.

I can really relate to feeling stuck. I’ve been there. I hate that feeling. Now, you’ve got an easy tool to raise your consciousness and course-correct. With your expanded consciousness, you will experience freedom. It’s time to step up and out of the illusion that something is impossible. It’s all possible.

Oprah shared with this with us at the Super Soul Event I wrote about last week. I immediately shared it with my team, and it’s shifted how we show up inside of CWM, “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.”

I’m rooting for you and supporting you to step into your highest vision of yourself,

Remember Your Why, So You Can Thrive

Dear Mamas,

Do you remember why you wanted to become a Mom? What were your ambitious before you entered that chapter?

For me, it was simple. I wanted to experience something bigger than myself. In this strange way, even though I knew it would radically change my life, I also knew it was a non-negotiable for me. You see, I had this vision of being highly involved with my children and exposing them to as many experiences as possible. At the same time, I envisioned myself continually evolving, leading, making an impact in meaningful work that fulfills me.

Your ‘Why’ may be different than mine, and that’s okay. As we get into the trenches of motherhood and experience its magnificence, it doesn’t always look the way we expected it would. Things we thought we’d never do, we end up doing. So it’s no wonder, that at times we feel disconnected from ourselves, or a particular dream.  Can you relate?

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Here’s what I know to be true. You can be a Mom and have space for yourself to thrive too. To feel what it looks like, give yourself permission to:

Engage in meaningful work

Spend money on yourself

Intellectually challenge yourself

Have a interest

Take risks in your career

Feel beautiful

Go on a date night

Finish your cup of tea before it gets cold

Spend a Saturday afternoon alone

Go to an art opening

Take a girls trip

Sit and read a book during the day when you can stay awake

Have a meal cooked for you

Have time to nurture your soul

Engage in purposeful and heartfelt conversations daily

I know it may not be everyday that you create space for yourself, but stretch and remember your WHY and your desires. You get to create the vision of how you want to experience being a Mom and a woman. Isn’t that incredible? Be the author of of your own story.

I’m celebrating you and the vision that you hold for yourselves.

Happy Mother’s Day Mamas. May your light continue to shine brightly,

Make A Plan And Abandon It

Are you a planner? It’s Sunday night, and you’re strategizing about what you will get done and by when? What about the weekend? Do find yourself making plans, filling all possible white space with dinner with friends, baseball games, family outings…you name it, you’ve planned it.

I have a confession. I’m a planner. I inherited it from my Mama. I’m quite proud of it, in fact, because it’s served me well in the efficiency department. However, when I had my big wake up call a few years ago, I realized that my scheduling was trumping my ability to be conscious.  There were so many times when I missed experiencing something that was truly for my highest good, that fed my soul, that challenged me because I had everything planned out.

This past weekend, I gifted myself a weekend away with my Mama in the gorgeous city of Nashville. Remember, my Mama is a planner, and there’s still a part of me that loves a good old fashioned itinerary.

However, I sent my Mama our weekend travel plans on a doc that included a big red, “SUBJECT TO CHANGE AT ANY TIME” on the top. Did they ever. While in flight, a friend who lives in Nashville shared that Paul Simon was playing at the Ryman on Saturday night. The Ryman is one of those music venues I have always wanted to see — it’s an old church where the Grand Ole Opry originated (it still has the original pews!). Our issue was that we had tickets to the Opry for that same night and were so excited to see it — I planned it!

This was a dilemma for me. What if I couldn’t get tickets? What if the seats were no good? What it we didn’t end up doing either in the process? We’d talked about going to the Opry for so long! But, there was a feeling of adventure and joy at the thought of going to the Ryman to see the amazing Paul Simon!

What I’ve learned is that the richness of potential outcomes and experiences of following that feeling of joy and adventure, even if not achieved, far outweighs the comfort and stick-to-the-plan routine that we can lock ourselves into.

I’m pointing this out because this experience evoked a feeling inside of me that I think most of us can identify with it, but don’t always capitalize on.

I’ve learned to not spend a lot of time hemming and hawing in situations like this, and, instead, follow the ‘good feeling’ and the experience that I’m after.

To wrap up this example, I made a few calls and was able to move our Opry tickets and get great seats to Paul Simon.

Why am I telling you this? Because had I ignored that feeling because I was so attached to my plan, I would have missed out on an experience that fed my soul. I don’t think it’s any different in motherhood or in the Corporate world. If you’re craving to feel connected and in alignment with who you really are at your core, then you must get comfortable with agility. One must be able to to detach from ‘the plan’ and follow the good feeling, so that you can receive all that is available to you in that very moment. Don’t be fooled into thinking that if you don’t stick to a plan, you can’t be efficient and do all that that you want to.

As I was travelling back home, I reviewed our itinerary and was blown away. In fact, we even added a side trip to a little town 20 minutes outside of the city that I was dying to see, but didn’t think we would have time. We probably experienced more than I could have imagined, yet there was a flow to it all. This logic applies in the workspace and in motherhood too.

These are the 3 questions I ask myself when choosing how to spend my time:

  1. What’s my intention?
  2. What’s my Why behind my intention?
  3. How do I want to feel?

These questions have helped me experience what I want to in my personal, professional and home life.

I know that abandoning plans can be scary as all heck, but start with these quick questions to establish some white space in your life. It’s incredible what you can create, experience, overcome, connect, achieve and feel in doing so.

Much Love,

How to upgrade your mindset and say goodbye to self-doubt

It’s almost impossible to accomplish anything with a mindset that’s full of self-doubt. As you’ve probably already discovered you can’t take risks or steps forward when you’re full of question marks. Self-doubt leads to limiting beliefs, which do not empower you. Limiting Beliefs are a thought that runs through your head, particularly if it’s a repeated thought that arises against your will.

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Be Your Own Valentine

I don’t know about you, but this holiday always seems to creep up on me, and I’ve noticed that it’s the one holiday that I truly have experienced differently throughout the various stages of my life. I have to admit something, and maybe you can relate: I was caught up with this holiday for surface value. Here’s what I mean.

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