Leadership

Client Spotlight – Kirsten Rutherford

In a world that constantly celebrates people’s productivity and output, my hope is that by giving you a peak into the HUMANS I work with, you realize that the value you bring into the world is based on WHO YOU ARE first and foremost.

Your leadership is your legacy.

How we show up in all these various ways is modeling leadership and creating your realities.

Who we are at the core is the engine and the foundation behind the impact we make in the world.

When Kristen Rutherford walks into a room (albeit virtual or in person) one is immediately drawn to her, sun shiny, authentic disposition and her groundedness. Zero pretentiousness with this Kiwi transplant.  She’s a safe haven for her team. She’s not afraid to speak up and she’s wildly creative. She’s also the ⁠Executive Creative Director, TBWA Chiat Day, Los Angeles.

 

SARAH: How are you living your legacy TODAY?

KIRSTEN: I’ve journaled every night for the past 33 years. In the last few years since my Dad passed away, I’ve tried to change the spirit of that daily summation into one that leads only with gratitude. If I have something to write on the page, then I’m living my values which feels pretty awesome.

 

Whether that’s seeing growth in my team, or seeing them feel appreciated…that makes me feel appreciated.

I’m grateful to be able to find the intersection between my purpose and profession– whether that’s working on accounts that do good, or finding opportunities with brands to help them find their soul.

I’m also grateful that at this stage in my career, I’ve been given the trust and support to bring even more humanity to place with the words ‘Be more human’ written in 12ft letters on our outside wall.

 

 

SARAH: Tell us about the opportunity to speak at Cannes and why it’s important to you?

KIRSTEN: I’m privileged to be talking to the Cannes Young Lions Creative Academy. The Academy is a talent accelerator for the brightest young (under 30) creative talent in the world.  My session is called ‘Balancing your creativity with purpose’. We’re discussing how to intersect your values / purpose with your profession and how to use your moral compass if something doesn’t sit well with your beliefs and values.

It’s such an honor when this conversation allows me to live my own purpose: making the world a better place through kindness and creativity!

SARAH: How would you describe working with me?

KIRSTEN: I’ve been lucky enough to work with Sarah in both group workshops and personal coaching. I’m grateful for her insight- she has a glorious ability to take a step back and summarize what feels like a mountain, into a very walkable hill! Sarah holds you accountable. We all know the power of being challenge to articulate our 3ft toss and stay true to that. She’s challenging… in all the right ways!

 

A huge thank you to Kristen for taking a beat to slow down and share with me what she’s up too.

 

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I’m creating a space of belonging

You’ve probably heard or seen me talk about my program, The Mother Board, yes??

We’ll I’m circling back – because the next group for 2022 is starting this fall and you need to know more about this now.

Also – something happened last week that struck me about this program and the women who participated in 2021 – and I had a big moment of pride. Of joy. Of warmth.

 

“Transformation gets created, and these women experience a true sense of belonging well beyond the program.
We working moms owe it to ourselves to get supported.  Our deepest desires matter. We’re not here just to support others. I know my working Moms know that.”

 

I notice how easily it is for women to bond over what’s not working in their life, and while that might feel good in the moment, it certainly doesn’t foster long-term change. If anything, it fosters more resentment, frustration and overwhelm.

I love this program so much because these women not only redefine what leadership means, they finally get the support they’re worthy of from other working Moms who get them. From there, I witness the Mother Board members truly be the author of their lives and lean into their deepest *desires*  despite the circumstances around them (not enough time in the day, a partner who doesn’t carry their weight, lack of energy, money etc).

“One of the greatest gifts I see women experience in this program is the ‘ongoing’ support after the program completes.”

If you’re a working Mom, or know one, please consider this my invitation to invest in yourself. Doors will close Aug. 1st and I want you to experience the gift of not only having myself be a stand for you, but also other women who will believe in you like you’ve never felt before – all from a place of compassion.

 

So much love,

 

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Summer is Calling you Forward

It’s official. We now have a 4th, 6th, and 8th grader in our house. GULP.

Summer has arrived in the Gibbons zoo, and now more than ever I’m feeling called into leadership. If I don’t stand in leadership in motherhood,  our boys will be sitting on screens 24/7 (the repercussions of that are terrifying)!!

If you’re new to the SG community, you might not be used to hearing the word ‘leadership’ associated to anything outside of ‘work.’  We’ve been trained to think of leadership as people who hold the highest jobs in a company and get paid the big bucks. Full stop.

WRONG!

I define leadership as who we ARE in ALL aspects of life. Not just in the boardroom or the traditional sense of what you think when you hear the term. Leadership happens in the moment – at home, in your marriage, in motherhood, fatherhood, with friends, and with yourself.


To all my parents out there, now that school is out, schedules are shifting, our kids are growing up, work demands are shifting – I bet you’re feeling it. ALL of it. For my my corporate peeps, how’s it going with the reentry back into the offices?!

SO-MUCH-CHANGE.


It hit me last week with our middle culminating from 5th grade, and realizing how grown up our boys are becoming – I was one part nostalgic, one part ecstatic for the break-in school work, one part overjoyed seeing them step into their own and one part frustrated with all the bickering – leaving me feeling like a big ball of mush.
There was a time before I really got what it meant to stand in leadership, that I would get swept away with Summer overwhelm as a working parent, which resulted in a very complex spreadsheet detailing all of their camps, sleepovers etc. Just thinking about those spreadsheets stresses me out now. As if all that planning would eliminate ‘difficult’ situations with our boys. Wrong again!

Anyone relate?

As we go into Summer 2022, I’ve discovered that standing in leadership for me looks a little different. It’s less about all the doing – and more about the qualities I’m leading from that will create the experience I desire for the boys and myself.


I crave simplicity in all areas of my life – in reality this means our boys have ‘some’ plans, but not every day is filled. There’s spaciousness. Same in biz. I’ve made some decisions in the past year, that have really simplified how I work with clients – a win, win for all.

I also crave clarity in all areas of my life – this means I’ve communicated clearly to the boys what we have planned for them (with their input) and what I expect of them when they’re lounging about at home. At work, this looks like crystal clear communication with my team as to how my work days look during the Summer and clear milestones for all of our projects coming up in the back half of the year.


If you were to stand firmly in leadership this Summer, what would you have MORE of in your work and personal life, that you currently don’t have? I want to know.

 

Oh the possibilities,

 

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Client Spotlight – Patrick O’Neil

What I love MOST about success coaching is spending time with my clients because of WHO they are – bold, creative, fun and brilliant. Above all, they’re committed to leading in all areas of their life. They’re just so dang inspiring! I was lucky enough to ask my Patrick O’Neill, Chief Creative Officer, client and dear friend about his leadership, current project and what’s come from our time together.

1.  
How has your view on leadership shifted this past year, and what is the impact on you, your team, your family life?

My view on leadership has shifted, down shifted, to a lower frequency and I’ve benefitted from this – as the high energy approach is pushing people away in these hostile and impatient times we live in. Everyone appreciates the lower key approach, especially my family.


2.
How are you living your legacy TODAY?

By living in full creative mode – Creating content people remember and adore.
That’s my zone.


3.
Tell us about your favorite project you’re working on.

I just launched the Pride activation “WHIP IT OUT” for Whipshots, the vodka-infused whipped cream, co-founded by Cardi B. We wanted to connect with the LGBTQ+ community with authenticity and a big dose of fun. And Cardi brought it to West Hollywood this year, for sure.

4.
How would you describe working with me?

I’m a culture vulture and working with me means talking about musicians, new tracks, movies, art exhibitions, food trends, streaming shows, soup diets, etc. all of which inspire my creativity.


A huge thank you to Patrick for taking a beat to slow down and share with me what he’s up to. I hope his candidness and words have inspired you as much as they have me!

 

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Are you making everything significant in your life?

Something has happened in the last few years (ok… a lot has happened) but *in* this moment, I’m really noticing how we make *everything* have so much significance.

I notice it everywhere.

I notice it with business owners, who get stuck taking action because they’re so fixated on knowing their purpose.

I notice it with people in various seasons of life.

The 50 somethings who crave a different kind of purpose in their life then they’ve had, but are concerned about agism. Not saying that they don’t have evidence as to why they should be,  but I’ve noticed how much it contributes to their worry.

I notice it with the upcoming driven 20+ somethings who feel they MUST know their purpose in the first quarter of the life.

So much significance placed on every bloody exchange, that it can become a real time suck and energy drain.

So much pressure!


I notice I do it with my husband when he writes to me and doesn’t reference me by the nickname he calls me.  Before I know it, I place so much significance on the exchange, that it causes me to question myself, question him, our relationship.


My intention for pointing to this, isn’t to have a conversation as to why us humans make so much significance out of things, because I think we know why (hello technology that has us connected 24/7, hello expectations and ambition that can cause us to obsess over details).

Instead, my goal is to help you see where you create unnecessary significance in your life,  and by doing so, it’s that *leadership* that’s actually getting in the way of you having a better life.

Consider what happens to you when you give something a lot of significance? Do you start to over-analyze? Do you get stuck in the paradox of choice and not make any movement? Do you become overly prickly and barky with your partner?

When I start to give something a lot of significance I notice I have soooooo much expectation, so much desire to get it all right, and ultimately not a lot of trust.

My leadership in those moments are very much rooted in doubt.

One of the breakthroughs I’ve been actively creating this year in my leadership is instead of holding everything with so much significance, holding things with more grace and ultimately being grace. Which to me means a few things:

+ Assuming the other person has positive intent.

+ Being okay with murkiness and sometimes that means only knowing the very next baby step I’m taking, but not the one after it.

+  Letting myself change my mind and being okay with others changing their mind.


Question for you…

In service to your leadership, what in your life are you making significant, and if you were to hold it slightly differently, how would your life improve for the better?


The #1 desire I hear my clients want day in and day out is more inner peace. A sense of calm. A sense of spaciousness. As I deepen in my leadership and practice not making every dang thing so significant, I notice a much greater sense of calm. If this speaks to you, give it a go and let me know you get on with it.

 

Much Love,

 

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Administering CPR to your Creativity

For all my people who live by checklists, and go through the day trying to ‘get it all done in EVERY area of your life, this is for you.

From one driven leader to another, going about your day that way can feel really dang good in the moment, *but* it can leave you feeling burned out and even worse – UNINSPIRED

When I feel uninspired, nothing works – I’m disconnected from my work, my family, and myself. Ugg.

So what can you do?!!?

Last week I spent the week at Camp Cultivate, which is an annual retreat that takes place in Dripping Springs Texas and is the brainchild of my amazing friend and life coach Allison Crow.
When we walked into the gorgeous room where we were going to be for the 4 days, she had a set of paints on every woman’s seat (50) and colored pens.

Throughout the whole week, I found myself picking up the paints to draw metaphors for what I wanted to remember. Each day went on, I found myself settling more into my body and less in my head. New ideas were coming to me and I started to experience even more ease around my business and what’s next for the back half of 2022.

I know you might be thinking there’s nothing new about this idea of using color markers and paints, but here’s what I know about myself and my community!
We often don’t, because we’re so busy, the idea of anything that could slow down productivity gets an eye roll.

If you want to experience more of your creative brilliance, I’m telling you, get your paints and pens out and carry them everywhere.

Do NOT underestimate what happens when the little child in you gets to draw.

To BE inspired and commit to leading from your heart, THIS is one brilliant way that will crack it open.

So this week I’ll ask…

If you were feeling more inspired today, what would you put your energy toward that would have you feeling more alive than ever?

Commit to taming your busy and reignite your creativity,

 

Much Love,

Sarah Gibbons signature

 

We Spent a Week in Belize 🌴

We just returned from a week in Belize.

It’s incredible what happens when you create space in your life and protect it with clear boundaries. Despite having a very full business and an incredibly loving and involved husband, I was feeling conflicted the month leading up to this holiday – excitement for what’s to come, grief over past losses, anxiety and confusion over what I want to create next in my business. All of my humanity was showing up as a 10! I could feel myself wanting answers, solutions, a playbook stat, leaving very little reverence for where I was at that particular moment.  And, not a lot of curiosity for what was underneath those feelings, which — spoiler alert — was a lot of “should” and “expectations” for what I should want and what I should be doing.  I bet you can relate?

When we left for this trip, I vowed to my clients, my friends, and my team that I would not be bringing my laptop, AND I would not be online at all: no texts, emails, or social posts. Zilch. And truthfully, I was really looking forward to being unavailable (I still had my 3 little[ish] people, so it wasn’t like I was entirely free from responsibility).


For us driven peeps who are incredibly reliable to be productive, get in the trenches and see it through, no matter what, it was a major victory for me in keeping my commitment to myself and honoring the boundaries I’d set. That happens on the soul level, and that is what I call leadership transformation.

The ability to transform who we BE in our soul, in service to experiencing more internal harmony, growing spiritually while creating our true desires in the physical world.

It’s not lost on me for one moment how fortunate we are as a family to be able to travel AND the choices we’ve made that have allowed us to create the life we leave.

 

I intentionally designed this holiday, so that we would be integrated into the local culture and environment and away from tourists, big hotels and, busyness. I wanted to be influenced by the Caribbean way of life, not the Western culture that I live and breathe every day.

 

We spent the first half of our trip on a secluded island with a very small group of people and several local guides. We slept in clean, airy tents and enjoyed fresh homemade meals by two women who were locals from a nearby town on the coast and who proudly presented each meal with gratitude and excitement. The beach had beautiful white sand with loads of local birds, hermit crabs, and iguanas running free plus vibrant hammocks hanging throughout our camp. I was gobsmacked by the beauty and the love these women poured into the preparation of delicious yet very simple meals.

 

 


The days were filled will snorkeling with nurse sharks and spotted rays, fishing, kayak-sailing, stand-up paddleboarding, and my favorite hammock surfing.  Not a hotel or car in site (or tourist for that matter aside from our little group).  This way of life created a clearing for creative thoughts to flourish.

Every morning, I would wake up to the ocean breeze, beaming hot sun, and the feeling of wonder and possibility as we started each day. My mind had begun to relax, and I could feel calm throughout my body and spaciousness in the days to come. Because I had set such clear boundaries and stuck to them, I was in a position to fully take in and receive what was available each day. The weather in the Caribbean is quite unpredictable and, because of that, we didn’t know what activities we could do until that morning.  There was a sense of mystery and unknown about each day, but my relationship to uncertainty was shifting. Instead of feeling anxious, worn out, and worried, I was feeling curious, excited, and calm.

Clarity and creativity come with space.

There’s just no way around it.


When I first take on a new client or a team of leaders, I see their struggle to birth new ideas, and yet be productive at the same time. It’s not that they’re mutually exclusive, but any kind of expansion requires spaciousness to explore and be curious. Days that aren’t filled with back-to-back meetings, meal prep, homework help, and so on. It requires leadership transformation – a commitment at the soul level to surrender and trust that the world you’ve built around you will hold as you step away to slow down.

What would be possible if you were to commit to trusting that the world around you is strong enough to withstand your absence at times if you were to create more space throughout your days? What would you have MORE of that you currently don’t have at all?

As I step back into ALL of my responsibilities (full on, as my husband is back east all week), I will experience contraction as that’s the result of expansion. I’ve intentionally created space to move my body, connect with friends, and serve my clients in a way that allows me to show up from a place of fullness, rather than a deficit.


This wouldn’t be possible without the ongoing transformation I’ve committed to creating in my leadership (shout out to my coaches for all of your support!).

I want this for you, too.

It’s so much more fulfilling and fun. I’ve opened up space in my diary at the end of the month for 3 people or organizations who would like to experience a complimentary coaching conversation in service to exploring what’s possible right now for you or your team.

Email me to grab one of the spots. 

 

Anything is possible,

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One of the greatest moments in leadership came from the Oscars

What a week!

Yes, I live in LA, and work amongst a lot of people in the creative industry, but I still couldn’t get over how many conversations I heard in the past week following the Chris Rock + Will Smith moment at the Oscars.  Not to mention all of the op-ed pieces, social posts, and memes written from all around the world.

The conversation that interests me the most is actually one I haven’t heard discussed much and it’s about Chris Rock’s ability to lead in the face of any circumstance.

To be clear – I’m NOT saying I thought his joke was ok, but the conversation I want to point to has nothing to do with the content itself – it has everything to do with how we relate to circumstance, person, event, etc. I’m a big believer that the issue is never the issue, instead, the issue is how we relate to the issue (read that twice)!

When I think about leadership opportunities for my clients (and myself) across the boardroom, in marriages, and with our children, it all comes down to how we show up at the moment and relate to the person or situation.
Every single one of us has found ourselves in situations where we feel fired up, embarrassed, disappointed, dismissed, ignored (I could go on).  Chris Rock showed us that even when you’re feeling all the feels, it is possible to hunker down in your body and stand grounded and calm. That struck me as an incredibly teachable moment in leadership. He made it look easy.

Brene Brown does an impeccable job in her latest book and TV series, “Atlas of the Heart” helping us build a bridge between our thinking and our emotion, so when we put our head on our pillows at night we can look back and know that we were leading from integrity.

Not the wild ego that lives inside of us and can attack viciously, leaving us feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

It’s that bridge that allows us to connect to others, but ultimately stay connected to ourselves during the most difficult times when we start to feel the charge inside of us.

When I watched Chris Rock during that moment, I imagined the charge in his body that lit up. The pressure of having so many eyes on him, the shock of a physical slap, the part of him that felt foolish and wanted to get revenge… and yet, in a moment, in one second, he was able to ground his feelings, and leverage the bridge between his thinking and his emotions. He showed up calm and open.

That required courage and vulnerability.

Can you imagine a world where every single one of us, despite our feelings getting completely bent out of shape at times, and yet LEADING the way in which Chris Rock did?

Imagine the next argument with your partner or your teen, and instead of doing the thing you always do (dismiss, blow up…fill in the blank) you respond vs. react. Or a colleague gives you feedback that you totally disagree with and yet you’re able to stay connected to yourself and them, and even finish the conversation still feeling connected to one another?

*That* is leadership.

So the question for you, my friends becomes…

Question:

What would you have in your life (that you don’t currently have) if you strengthened your ability to lead in those difficult moments – instead of being reactionary?

 

That’s what I call leadership and it’s really the *thing* that defines us and redefines us, and it happens in a moment.

 

Anything is possible,

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Pt. 2 of How we bought our house…

Where do you start when you desire something that is outside of your comfort zone and therefore stirs up all kinds of resistance?

Glad you asked. You start with a VISION.

If you missed last week’s post, take a beat and read HERE for an intentional and simple take on writing a vision (that I guarantee will set you up for success).

For those of you who have your vision around something you desire, this is where manifestation enters the picture. First, I must set the record straight. Praying and reading your vision every day is NOT going to deliver the results you might read on social media.

Connecting with your vision daily is key, you must put structure around your vision, so that you align intentional action with your intention. Think about it. This is why most New Year’s Resolutions fail. My friend Jen decides she wants to lose 15 pounds so she can feel lighter and run a half marathon later in the year. Jen claims she’s going to go to workout 3x a week and eat healthier. While that might sound like structure, it’s lacking a few important pieces that will support her on the days that she feels like skipping her workout and eating ice cream.

 


If you really want to actualize your vision, here’s the tried and true structure I use that turns my goals into a project, making it much more attainable:

1) WHY is this desire/ goal important to you?

2) How do you want to feel as you experience the creation of this desire?
Note: We often ignore this as we’re so attached to the result, but the process can be equally as fulfilling as the result
3) A clear vision
(which you’ve likely already done)
4) Declarations timeline.
In other words a what by when. This is often where people get tripped up, because they don’t declare what they’re going to do by when and so very little movement happens.
5)  Rewards tied to your Declarations  – Do NOT skip this step.
Just like children, we to follow through when rewarded along the way. What will you gift yourself when you complete each declaration?
(This is your project plan so you get to decide)

You can complicate this all you want, but I find the above structure has served me in creating a very lucrative business w/ the type of clients that truly inspire me, a house that I love calling home, a marriage I’m proud of and so much more.

Question:

What small action will you take by this Friday to continue to actualize your biggest desire?

 

I believe in you,

XX

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What’s the 1st impression you give?

Today I launch my 2022 The Board group and it has me thinking a lot about…first impressions.

As I prepare to welcome this incredible group of men and women I find myself jostling back and forth between feelings of confidence, nervousness, and *old habits* of wanting to “get it right” (whatever the heck that means).

I used to over-prepare when I was launching a new group or giving a talk. Because I value excellence, I would take this to the extreme (we’re talking notecards, late nights rehearsing, the whole nine yards).

As a result, I would come across as intelligent, organized, and polished, but also distant. Something was missing for me and for others – I could feel it. It was heart. I was so buttoned-up, that I’d covered up my heart, my authentic self.

 


I see this a lot when I’m working with clients – the desire to make a big 1st impression, to be seen as brilliant, a worker bee, and above all, buttoned up and yet it often overshadows their natural self. Their humanness. The part of them that lets people connect to them. Without that connection, it’s really hard to get behind whatever it is they’re presenting, selling, or solving.

So this week consider…

“Who do YOU want to be known as?”
&
“Is that how people are experiencing you today?”


 

Pro-tip: Over the years one of the greatest techniques that have helped me in making a 1st impression that fully represents me is to choose a quality that I want people to experience and then lead from it wholeheartedly.

Ex: I want people to experience ease with me today. As do I. So I’m leading from grace.

Grace to me looks like leading from patience and compassion even in the face of discomfort, and being willing to own when I’m feeling uncomfortable. Full transparency.

What’s cool about this pro-tip is that you get to *choose* who you want to BE which I’ve found to be incredibly empowering and supportive.

Instead of trying to “get it all right”, give yourself a break and choose a quality in which you’re committed to leading from. Embody that quality and witness the magic that happens from there.

 

I believe in you,

XX

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You’ve got everyone… But who’s got you?

I’m directly speaking to all the mothers in our community, so if you’re reading this and you’re not a mother, pls gift someone the opportunity of being seen and share this with them.

I thank you, as will they!

As a Mother of a 13, nearly 11, and 9-year-old boys, I’m speaking on behalf of my experience and what I hear in everyday conversations with clients, friends, and family.
It’s no secret that mothers are being stretched in ways we never dreamed of.

There are some wonderful outlets out in the world that provide places to gather, share and collectively exhale, but often I notice that support helps give relief in the moment, but doesn’t necessarily translate to transformation.

 

 


There was a long stretch in my motherhood where I really couldn’t remember who I was.

Ask me what I did for fun? Couldn’t tell you.

 Asked me how fulfilled I was? … meh. (Aside from loving my boys!)

Asked me how connected I felt to others? Comme Ci, Comme Ca.

Asked me if I felt truly supported beyond the point of colluding with someone?
Not so much.

Asked me what I was doing to change things up in my word? Not much. But I was really good at living in mediocrity (because on paper everything looked pretty fabulous).


Then came the movement of providing Mothers a ‘safe space’ to share, be heard and be seen thanks to social media. While I see the impact many of them have had on Mothers, for me they lacked intention beyond ‘sharing.’

I  wanted more.

I wanted the kind of support that was going to truly shake things up, hold my feet to the fire, ruthlessly tell me what I couldn’t see, and ultimately inspire me to remember who I was. All in service to showing up more fully in my wonder.

 

So what does one do when they can’t find what they’re looking for?

*Spoiler alert*
They create it themselves. 


Thus began…

An intimate group coaching experience for women who all share the badge of “Mother” AND a  desire to bring their most connected leadership self forward to experience MORE fulfillment and fun. This group of women serve as a personal Board of Directors to each other – the female transformational partners that I believe we mothers speak.  No feeling of competition, comparison, or criticism. When one boat rises, we all rise.

One of the greatest gifts that I’ve seen come from my Mother Board groups is a newfound set of tools that empower women to create the world they want to be experiencing NOW, despite all the circumstances around them.

 

All the details are HERE

Registration is open (group size capped at 8)

We start on March 24th.

Reach out if you have questions and please share with any mother who comes to mind.

 

This is an opportunity for you to invest in yourself, Mamas.

XX,

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The GOLD I learned this week with MY coach

I was on the phone with my coach last week and came in quite hot around a situation that had me feeling misunderstood. I could feel the fire in my belly. As a result, I was showing up quite impatient and preoccupied – which is such a crappy feeling.

Can you relate?

As I worked through this and took a look at my part in the situation, I had a real aha moment and wanted to share it with you because I have a hunch it will serve you.

 

When something begins to feel messy, I want it resolved immediately. I apply a sense of urgency. I see it in numerous areas of my life.

  • Dirty Dishes in the sink? Not in my house, but I’ll martyr if I’m the one always doing them.
  • Disagreement with John? I want a resolution. Stat.
  • Boys bickering? I’m reliable to tell them to stop immediately.

Sound familiar?

The impact this has on me (thank you to my coach for reflecting this back to me)  is…
I operate over the top of things in an attempt to button things up. Close the loop. Which leaves me feeling resentful because I haven’t taken time to be with my thoughts when it comes to a disagreement, or ask for help when it comes to a household chore.


 

I realized I’m quite uncomfortable giving myself time and space to be with my thoughts and feelings. But there’s so much gold in doing so.

It’s a muscle I’m working on strengthening, and a super important one because the more we can give ourselves abundance of time and space, the more we’re able to see our part in things.

The more we can see our part, the more we can discern what’s true vs. assumed.

From that place, it’s a lot easier to lead from love even if we don’t agree with the situation.

If you’re one of my people, I’m asserting the impact you want to have in the world is one from a place of love and possibility

 

So for this week, I’d love for you to consider…

The next time you feel ticked off….

 

I believe in you,

XX,

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My #1 insight after coaching in Costa Rica for 13 days

I’m on my flight back from Costa Rica, after 13 days in the jungle with 16 other humans from every corner of the world – all coaches committed to their work.

It was a transformational experience to say the least.

Something that completely struck me yesterday was when one of the participants asked me if I was excited to go home. It hit me in that moment. While I missed my husband, our cheeky boys, and my own bed….for the first time I didn’t have the anxiousness to get back.

This was a big AHA moment for me.

Normally, after a few days I start to get consumed with thoughts like…

  • “I need to get home to finish x, y, z”
  • “My clients are going to check out if I’m not there to support them”
  • “Is the kids homework getting turned in and are they prepped for their weekly tests?”
  • “John must be exhausted as it’s a full-time job parenting with two, let alone one”
Side Note:  These thoughts have nothing to do with John, my children, or my clients, and everything to do with my stuff and the significance I would place on being ‘away’ from work and responsibilities.

Productivity for me
(and probably you if you’re one of my people)
has been a part of my DNA for as long as I can remember.

 

The feeling of checking things off, closing loops, ‘getting ‘er’ done had been a good feeling…a validating feeling of my worthiness AND it was costing me.

I struggled to relax, to be fully engaged, to be with whatever choice I made at the moment and the worse part was I could hide it. Others didn’t experience so much, but I could feel it in my body. I felt scattered, anxious, and disconnected and at times unfulfilled.

 

 If this speaks to you, here are a few ways you can get practice:

 I haven’t seen my crew in 13 days and I’m feeling incredibly calm and at peace in my body. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to see them, AND my clients this week, but I don’t feel the sense of anxiousness I used to feel after traveling and I certainly don’t have thoughts like ‘I’m going to be so behind in my life….” which use to run my mind!

And it feels really refreshing, freeing, and incredible.

I want this for you, too.

 

So for this week, I’d love for you to consider…

 

Imagine the ripple you’d create with this shift in your leadership!

I believe in you,

XX,

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Are you too busy to accept an opportunity?

THIS WEEKS LEADERSHIP INSIGHT

If you’re too busy to say yes to something you really want, are you willing to lead from a different quality in order to create it?

Almost all of my clients, and myself included, have a bias for action. We like to plow through things and get it done. That also tends to mean that are schedules are packed. Sound familiar?

Part 2 to that, those packed, productive days can also mean that when opportunities we really really want come up (professional, creative, personal, fun) we don’t know what to do.


We freeze, and often turn them down completely. Also sound familiar?
Case in Point: I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and one of my clients spontaneously invited me to the 3% Conference in Atlanta in two weeks.

I didn’t tell her this, but I’m telling you. My initial thought…. “Is she crazy? That would mean rescheduling nearly 15 client meetings across three days. And the boys… what about the boys, the homework, the cooking, and and and…”

…. Clearly, that came from fear.

Then I thought….” is she being serious?”
All the while I could feel a burst of positive energy and excitement course through my body.

Experience and impact are two values I live by, and the 3% Conference is something I’ve wanted to participate in for years. In a nutshell it’s a very established movement in the creative world that believes (as do I) that more women & more diversity = MORE creativity  + more profitability.


Without speaking to my team, my husband, my kids, I blurted, “HELL YES.”
I let go of how I would make it all work and I chose to lead from trust.I get it, I really do. Leadership happens in the moment. Busy bees like us can get such tunnel vision and addicted to the high of planning and completing things, that we deny ourselves the joy of living in the moment.
But there’s another way to lead.

So this week in your leadership…

Can you identify what you’re craving, and then identify what QUALITY you need to lead from to experience that desire.

I chose trust. My team, my family, my own ability. To communicate changes and decide what things can be pushed back or let go. And I know you can choose a different quality to lead from too.

 

Stay tuned as I share my key takeaways and leadership growth from the 3% Conference this week (follow me on socials if you don’t already)!

I’m so glad we’re in this together learning and growing,

XX,

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What’s the Last Decision You Made for Yourself?

Today’s leadership kick: Decision-making flows more easily when we’re integral to ourselves.

I’m really noticing how many people are ‘coping’ with the world right now.  Hanging on by a thread, grinding it out, rinse and repeat, left with the impact of feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and isolated.

When I put it that way doesn’t it sound miserable?

Not to be a complete Debbie Downer, but on top of that, I’m experiencing folks not want to admit how they’re really feeling, as if there’s this implied unspoken thing in the air that because we’re not in full-lockdown, we should be grateful.

 

From what I’ve seen through my clients, friends, neighbors to strangers in the grocery store, it’s truly impacting people’s ability to feel connected to themselves and to others.

People’s ability to lead has faced so much resistance over the last 18 months of the pandemic, that they’re settling for ‘coping’ as their daily strategy to get by.

As soon as we start to settle for mediocracy or “just enough” as our leadership style, it begins to impact our relationship to decision-making and our ability to hear feedback from those around us.  Thurs creating massive energy leaks all of the place and leaving us to feel even more disconnected.

This is why I’m running my Circuit Board program again, starting Oct. 7th.
I strongly believe that focusing on our leadership, in all aspects of our lives reflects in how we’re showing up in key moments. Despite whatever circumstances we’re facing, is actually one of our very best tools to best manage stress and our well-being.
This program is extremely intentional and designed for the driven, over-extended person. It’s 6 consecutive weeks, 75-minute group coaching sessions on zoom. Yes, Zoom. Trust me, I  have a knack for coaching groups over zoom and creating a container that fosters a safe place to share, be coached and experience transformation.
If your goal is to feel more connected, to lead from a place of confidence, calm and grounded then you’ll LOVE this program.

We’re focusing on three key themes:

Leadership is more than just doing. It starts with how we show up. Our way of being dictates how we do things. Both our way of being and our doing, play a role in our well-being. You follow?
Collectively, we’re use to the ‘doing’ part of leading, but it’s really who you’re being underneath all that doing, that I find needs the tweaking.

Decision-making flows more easily when we’re integral to ourselves.

If you’re someone who lives in a right, wrong context or is a waffler, then you’re leaking energy all over the place. No wonder you’re exhausted! It’s time to cut those leaks.

 

Love is at the heart of leadership. In order to lead from an open heart, we must unearth our personal relationship to feedback. This directly impacts our ability to connect. I find everyone, and I do mean everyone, struggles with receiving feedback. Some more than others… But if you’re one of my people who really gets triggered, oh man, you’re leaking energy all of the place, which is a big contributor to feeling disconnected.


I want to support people in reigniting their ability to lead. Specifically in their relationship to decision making and feedback, so they can feel connected. It’s from that place that we feel energized, creative and like ourselves.

I want to help as many of you as I can; which is why I’ve made this a 6-week program and priced it at 1K. My shortest program and my most affordable.

If you’re committed to leading from a place of connection, you belong in this program. If you’re managing teams, this is a fantastic program for them.

I believe in you,

XX,

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Are you Decisive?

Today’s leadership kick: Close one of your biggest ENERGY LEAKS by improving your decision-making skills

* Do you wake up with a million thoughts going through your head and debate for a few minutes where to begin?

* Do you debate decisions at work, causing you to spend extra energy on something, only to leave you feeling depleted and anxious?

* Do you stare at your clothes and question what to wear only to default to the same go-to outfit?

* Do you debate taking that guys/girl’s trip and end up waiting until the last minute, only to cause confusion and frustration for all of those involved?

Likely if you answered YES to several of these, you’re operating from a context that there’s a ‘wrong decision’.

Which creates massive fear in your decision-making process.

Which results in feeling flustered, anxious, and overwhelmed.

I know, because for years I struggled with making decisions and it got in the way of how I lead in my business and my home –  talk about a pet peeve of my husband!

Making decisions in a timely manner and not looking back, has elevated my leadership ten-fold in ALL areas of my life, and created a sense of calm throughout my day…rather than leaking energy all over the place.

To sharpen your decision-making skills, here are a few criteria I use, regardless of how small or important the decision is:

For example: are you thinking that there’s no wrong decision, or are you thinking that one decision is better than another?

Hint: If you’re answering that there’s a wrong decision, please ask yourself, “How do you know?”


Notice your thoughts. Do you have thoughts that are competing with choosing the decision that stretches you? Does that thought support growth or keeping you small?

Being a sharpshooter when it comes to decision-making is incredibly important if you’re committed to your leadership. Which is why I’m coaching around this in my upcoming group leadership program The Circuit Board. I have a hunch that you want to experience more growth, which means more of life on your edge that incorporates YOUR needs.

 So when you go forth today, what decisions can you make that will help you grow?! Because those decisions will, in turn, ultimately give you more of what you want. 

Believing in you,

XX

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Stop Saying It Will Be Hard

Today’s leadership kick: Stop saying it will be hard and choose a different context to lead from.

Alright. I’ve been sitting on this for a while because it goes against what some of my most treasured writers and mentors reiterate over and over.  But I can’t hide my truth.

Absolutely, us humans CAN DO hard things. Need proof? Just look around.

I noticed this week:

  • A single mom raising three teenagers while working full-time
  • A 13 year old stepping into their sexuality and gender preference by sharing it with her family
  • The homeless person on the corner who’s just slept all night on the streets

Choosing to live by the mantra “I can do hard things” will actually keep reinforcing that things are hard.

WHY?

Because that’s the context you’re choosing to buy into. If you approach your day, that conversation, that idea, that big event as “this is going to be hard,” you’re damn right, it will be. Every time.

Understanding context will help you lead in a way that feels empowering and doable. Most of us default to circumstances informing our context. For ex: we just moved to a new house. If I tell myself weeks on end this is going to be so hard because we have to move with 3 kids in tow, how do you think I’ll experience it?

Or, I was on with a Creative Director this week and he mentioned he needs to have a conversation with a colleague and didn’t want to have it because it was going to be “hard.”

I asked him, “How do you know?

Which of course he then responded with a variety of reasons as to why it would be hard. All of which were assumptions. They might have even been good assumptions based on previous experiences, but they were still assumptions.

I challenged him to consider a different context to lead from. He chose curiosity. We worked on how he could frame having the conversation from a place of curiosity, and different language tone, and CONTEXT started to percolate. And guess what?! He started to feel more grounded and calm – which will no doubt help how he starts that conversation.

Instead of telling yourself, you can do hard things, which reinforces that it will be hard, choose a different context.


I’m leaning into the mantra  “We can BE uncomfortable.” Because I know when I choose to get outside of my comfort zone and feel the jitters that arise in that space, that’s where magic happens. By living from that context, I notice it creates a crack in the experience for light to come in and often more times than not, it wasn’t ALL hard.

Context is everything.  Everything. If you don’t choose your context for the day, trust me, the world will choose it for you.

SO IN YOUR LEADERSHIP THIS WEEK….

Notice if your telling yourself that things will be hard, and then buying into it even more by telling yourself you can do hard things *we know you can*.

Instead, what context might you choose to live from today?  

I’m choosing to remind myself that “we { I } can be uncomfortable.” 

Believing in you,

XX,

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What does a 9 yo boy & a CEO have in common?

Today’s leadership kick: Quit Defending Your Limitations

After two weeks on the road with 4 boys, I was pretty damn excited to send them off to farm camp. I didn’t anticipate on Day 3 my middle son burying his head in his pillow when it was time to depart, because he felt so alone at camp. Heartbreaking! And I knew immediately this wasn’t going to be a quick fix – he wasn’t feeling good.

Similarly, hours later the exact same day, I was coaching one of my CEO’s (who might appear to have it all together on the outside) and she was sharing how blue and lonely she felt.

I wasn’t surprised to hear my CEO was feeling lonely. It’s been said many times that leadership, the top can feel very isolating. I also wasn’t overly surprised to hear my 9 year old share his feelings of loneliness, because I very much remember feeling alone at times during my childhood.

 

What really got me, was how BOTH of these incredible humans were convinced of their LONELINESS


I wanted to help my son move his energy – so we went for a walk. For a good part of it he went on and on about how he doesn’t have any friends there, and how his brothers weren’t playing with him. Regardless of what I said, he was still convinced there was no room for him to have a different experience. So what was the point in going?
For my client, God bless her, but she must have said the same thing 10 different ways. It simply wasn’t possible for her to feel
close to people at work because of her role. No matter what I said.

⁠⁠We can talk all day and analyze why we humans do this OR we can show up differently and therefore create completely different results. Like feeling connected.

In both situations, I asked them a version of “How’s it working for you, spending all this time and energy convincing yourself that you’re miserable and lonely?”

That woke them up!They both recognized that until they chose to lead from openness and possibility, their experience wasn’t going to change.

SO IN YOUR LEADERSHIP THIS WEEK….

Can you catch if you’re defending your limitations? If so, can you look for what’s possible instead?

If you can have a breakthrough in how you’re being, you can have a different experience.

XX,

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