Are you making everything significant in your life?
Something has happened in the last few years (ok… a lot has happened) but *in* this moment, I’m really noticing how we make *everything* have so much significance.
I notice it everywhere.
I notice it with business owners, who get stuck taking action because they’re so fixated on knowing their purpose.
I notice it with people in various seasons of life.
The 50 somethings who crave a different kind of purpose in their life then they’ve had, but are concerned about agism. Not saying that they don’t have evidence as to why they should be, but I’ve noticed how much it contributes to their worry.
I notice it with the upcoming driven 20+ somethings who feel they MUST know their purpose in the first quarter of the life.
So much significance placed on every bloody exchange, that it can become a real time suck and energy drain.
So much pressure!
I notice I do it with my husband when he writes to me and doesn’t reference me by the nickname he calls me. Before I know it, I place so much significance on the exchange, that it causes me to question myself, question him, our relationship.
My intention for pointing to this, isn’t to have a conversation as to why us humans make so much significance out of things, because I think we know why (hello technology that has us connected 24/7, hello expectations and ambition that can cause us to obsess over details).
Instead, my goal is to help you see where you create unnecessary significance in your life, and by doing so, it’s that *leadership* that’s actually getting in the way of you having a better life.
Consider what happens to you when you give something a lot of significance? Do you start to over-analyze? Do you get stuck in the paradox of choice and not make any movement? Do you become overly prickly and barky with your partner?
When I start to give something a lot of significance I notice I have soooooo much expectation, so much desire to get it all right, and ultimately not a lot of trust.
My leadership in those moments are very much rooted in doubt.
One of the breakthroughs I’ve been actively creating this year in my leadership is instead of holding everything with so much significance, holding things with more grace and ultimately being grace. Which to me means a few things:
+ Assuming the other person has positive intent.
+ Being okay with murkiness and sometimes that means only knowing the very next baby step I’m taking, but not the one after it.
+ Letting myself change my mind and being okay with others changing their mind.
Question for you…
In service to your leadership, what in your life are you making significant, and if you were to hold it slightly differently, how would your life improve for the better?
The #1 desire I hear my clients want day in and day out is more inner peace. A sense of calm. A sense of spaciousness. As I deepen in my leadership and practice not making every dang thing so significant, I notice a much greater sense of calm. If this speaks to you, give it a go and let me know you get on with it.
Tags: leadership, significant.