How to tell if it’s time to put your needs first.

Today’s leadership kick: Are you sacrificing your own needs to be in service to others?

If you value growth, stretching and pushing yourself, then I can bet you also feel the need to say yes to opportunities or obligations you think you should do as a leader, EVEN IF it turns your stomach in knots and makes your heart race.

Good, I’m not alone.

I experienced a situation last week that encouraged me to re-frame what being the best leader possible means for me. Let me set the stage…

I believe it’s super important to walk my talk, so I too invest heavily in coaching to grow my skills as a coach and, ultimately, my leadership, and last week I wrapped a 9-month program for world-class coaches. Meanwhile, I was coming off a “when it rains it pours” kind-of hellish morning, I was feeling raw, and when I ended our final group coaching call late – it was out of integrity for the agreements we’ve set as a group.

Naturally one of the co-founders of the group asked if I was open to feedback. My heart immediately said “Hell. No” but my head said, “YES, of course.”

Truthfully I had no room for feedback and so when my colleague hit me with it anyway, I crumbled. I was done. Toast. Thus began a flood of tears that were wrapped in anger, frustration and everything in-between.

Later that evening, I shared more of my backstory with her and I said, “What kind of a leader turns down the opportunity for feedback, especially in front of peers?”

And she wisely replied, “One that knows how to take care of her needs.”

BOOM. She was so right. Showing up in leadership isn’t about sacrificing our own needs, in service to other people’s growth.

Our humanity and leadership aren’t mutually exclusive, and, sometimes, our growth is about honoring our heart.

And by taking that stand, you’ll lead more authentically.

Q – So this week’s leadership question becomes — What would the impact be if you chose to NOT sacrifice your own needs in service to others?

Xx

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