Tired of feeling invisible?

How are you? Really, how are you? I want to know. 

 So, this past weekend I was supposed to be in magical Zion National Park with my Board Group, an amazing group of 6 driven leaders, all committed to supporting each other to create their biggest dream this year as well as receiving support to create theirs. Since we couldn’t be in Zion due to shelter-in-place, I hosted a virtual retreat, working together in depth for 6 hours split up in two sessions. When I say worked, we went deep, we stretched ourselves, & we felt all the feels along the way.

Prior to the virtual retreat, I noticed my own thoughts around visibility. It’s hard to admit this because I think there’s so much judgment wrapped around discussing visibility. Those thoughts sound like:

  • “Who am I to want more visibility?” And, “Shouldn’t I be grateful for the life I have; the love around me?”
  • “Wanting more visibility is rooted in shallowness, & I don’t want to be known as shallow!”
  • “Visibility isn’t that hard if you’re willing to sell your soul to social media & miss the life in front of you…”
  • “I’m an only child, & so this sense of being alone is deeply-rooted; even when I experience visibility it’s never enough!”
  • “I actually have a lot of visibility as a driven person, so what am I complaining about?” 
  • “If only I was more visible in my marriage, my community, the world…”

I could go on & on, but what I noticed through my conversations within the SG community & my clients, is that I’m not alone! Phew. 

Almost every driven person I know — even if they have a huge social media presence, any level of fame, etc.) — is craving more visibility. 

What the heck does visibility mean anyway? 

To me, it means feeling the presence of all me in every area of my life. That presence includes the intelligence, the humor, the sensitivity, the generosity, the curiosity, the directness; all of it. It feels like courage and not being afraid to just own who I am – take it or leave it. 

For some, I hear they want more visibility in their marriage. For some, it’s within their friend group, or work, or even with themselves. I’ve found specificity works wonders and claiming what area you want more visibility in your life will really serve you. 

Now what? 

We can talk all day along about what’s getting your way, and more often than not, it’s some version of your fear. Knowing WHY you want to experience visibility and being clear about the pay off will act as a magnet, pulling you through the muck & driving the conscious choice to change your visibility. 

As a driven person, once you decide you want something, you go after it. It doesn’t mean you won’t be met with some resistance, which can show up in the form of overwhelm, confusion, frustration, martyrdom, and withdrawal, but here’s a place to start.

  1. Claim what quality you will stand in, so that you can take the action needed to be more visible? Some ideas: commitment. Courage. Vulnerability. Expressiveness.
  2. Start with the end result in sight for the specific area in which you want to be more visible. In other words, what would you see if you were MORE visible? 
  3. Work backwards, creating the key milestones you’re committed to in order to BE more visible. The key here is to write them down on a timeline, so you’re transparent & honest with yourself. 
  4. Write down your 1st baby step towards the first milestone, letting that step inform the next & the next. 

If visibility is what you’re after, then don’t wait. I believe that the world wants all of us in our wonder, & it’s actually quite selfish if we hold back our gifts in any part of our lives; it deprives others from getting to experience our awesomeness, our gifts, our magic, & our uniqueness. I can’t think of anything worse than getting to the end of our life, looking back & knowing we didn’t share ALL of ourselves with the world.

No. More. Waiting. 

I want to see you. We want to see you. If you want support. Hollar. I got you. We got you.


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