What Happens When You Feel Seen and Heard?
Have you ever had the experience of really feeling seen and heard by another person? When someone just receives you without agenda or judgment, but instead, with compassion and acceptance. So much so that you feel comfortable enough talking to the point where you are tripping over your words because you can’t get them out fast enough? You remember these moments not just for the feelings of relief, safety, and connection, but because, for many of us, these may be moments that are few and far between.
The following is from a client in response to an email that I had sent to her. She writes,
“I’ve read your email multiple times since you sent it and, each time I read it, there’s a sense of relief that there’s someone out there who gets me, that I can speak with pure honesty and feel vulnerable, that I’m not ‘wrong,’ or what I’m saying will be manipulated and used against me. What I’m really saying is I feel safe in confiding and working with you. So thank YOU for that gift.”
I literally began to weep because I too crave this feeling of safety in all of my relationships. When I experience it, the possibilities that come forward are unfathomable.
This desire to feel safe and confident in our own skin feels particularly important right now given the changes happening around us nationally and globally. Maybe you can relate? When I feel heard and seen, suddenly, the personal desires I didn’t even know existed in me come into focus, and I can speak with clarity and confidence. This is a direct result of my feeling safe and supported. Maybe you’ve experienced showing up for your children in the most difficult of situations when they are feeling like the world has turned against them. With the biggest open heart, you let them share anything and everything, allowing them to feel seen, heard, and supported. Safe.
Do you have a relationship, maybe your partner or dear girlfriend, where they can really see, hear, and get you? Are you gifting your children the space to be deeply seen, heard, and understood? If the answer is no, I invite you to take the lead to show up in a new way that will have a profound effect on your relationships.
Deepen your relationships and, at the same time, increase your feelings of security and confidence by trying the following on for size (let me reiterate that these steps are ones that you do when you’re at your best. Note that they are oh-so-easy to forget).
- Listen to hear, not to speak, so you can get the meaning behind the meaning. By dropping your agenda, you become much more present for the other person.
- See the person in front of you as a kind, compassionate person, despite whether or not you agree with the content of what they’re saying. They will feel your acceptance and support, which will naturally encourage them to go deeper.
I want to hear from you this week. By trying these two simple tools, how do you connect in a more meaningful way in your relationships and how does it feel be seen and heard? The world needs you awake, engaged, and fully alive more than ever right now. Being able to fully listen and share what’s in your heart will support you in experiencing your full potential.