Are you trying to do it all? Remember…it takes a village…
How many times have you caught yourself saying in the heat of the moment, “it takes a village to raise my child(ren),” followed by an apology or some sort of explanation about how you can’t do it all? First things first Mamas: there is no explanation or apology needed. We are conscious women, choosing to experience the best version of ourselves and, in order to do that, we sometimes to choose to gift our children to other people, because we simply can’t DO it all.
The purpose of a village has existed for centuries, and the essence is the same regardless of what country you’re in. In my experience, the meaning of it was the same in London as it’s been in LA. It’s your community, your people, your tribe, and together you have the choice to lean into it, dock with it, bounce off it, huddle within, draft off it, and most importantly receive support from it.
I was thinking about my own Village this week because I rely heavily on it. I had a moment of how would I be and who I am without my village. Do you have a village? Do you use it? I mean really give yourself permission to use it?
As a working Mom of 3 boys with limited family around, there is absolutely no way I could do what I do, be who I want to be without the amazing support of my neighbors, friends, stay-at-home Moms, our nanny, and my husband. There have been a few times when I just can’t get to school pick up on time, and I’ve sent that text five minutes prior to pick up, “Can you pls grab Levi and let him know I’m on my way….”
Can you relate? Guess what…there is nothing wrong with us! We are human beings, doing the best we can do. Our plates are full.
I’ve realized my village extends beyond my quaint neighborhood in LA. There are my Mom friends abroad who I call upon late at night for parenting advice, or the ones I message across town at random hours in the day, and they always take two seconds to respond. All around me I’ve created a community that supports me. I have a sense of a team behind me, helping me, and creating space for me at times so that I can stop. I still operate the mission control tower at peak times of the day, though, I take great peace in knowing I don’t have to do it all.
Here’s a little a secret I’ve also discovered. I not only feel amazing when I allow myself to receive support but also when I also show up for others. There’s a sense of trust, camaraderie, and sisterhood. It’s just one more way of opening myself up to receive a sprinkling of joy throughout my day.
Here are four ways in which you can quickly strengthen your village and start using it. How freeing does that sound?
- First things first. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Let go of any self-criticism you have around not being able to do it all.
- Be intentional and look for people you energetically jive with. Nurture those relationships, same way you water a garden. (Note, the kids of everyone in your “village” don’t have to be best friends). You put into it what you get out of it.
- Pay it forward. Simple acts of kindness are always returned in spades. Spiritual Law of the Universe.
- Keep your village organized in your phone so you can readily call upon them. Make sure you have all their details, first name, last name, correct email, and mobile phone.
Keep your village organized in your phone so you can readily call upon them. Make sure you have all their details, first name, last name, correct email, and mobile phone.
The ambitious part of you who is eager to enjoy more of the world and step into who it is you’re here to become will appreciate the part of you who is relinquishing control of the idea that you have to do it all.
In fact, we will be talking about the theme of amplifying your village during the entire month of October in the CWM Circle group. If you want more tools, the chance to receive one-on-one coaching, and an easy way to grow your village with very like-minded working Mamas, join the Circle now!
This is your chance to walk your talk and not just say, ‘It takes a village,’ but to actually leverage your village and feel what it’s like to truly be supported. No more being a martyr and saying, “I do it all….” Time to let that go. It’s not serving you. Time to receive some help.
Doesn’t that sound lovely?