No Matter How Hard I Worked, I Never Felt Like I Had Enough Money…
I would gladly fold ten loads of laundry rather than look at my bank account, balance my checkbook or, quite frankly, talk about money in any way, shape, or form with my husband. Until recently, I have despised any conversation around money, regardless of having a healthy income or not. As a working mom, one of my core qualities is ambition. It’s served me well. However, as I’ve become established in my career and made more money, I have realized that the way I relate to money remains an uncomfortable relationship. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I’m going to be brutally honest: even when I go to nice restaurants and something is priced over $20.00, a little voice in my head yells, “Oh, that’s pricey! You can’t have that.” Talk about a buzz kill when you’re a foodie AND when you want to experience things to their fullest.
Until recently, I have operated under this premise: if I made more money, I would feel different. Boy, was I wrong. The universe in the past couple of months has provided me a couple of clear examples as to why that hypothesis is completely off base. When I’ve come across a month where I have a bit more spending cash, I still feel anxious, worried, and that I’m not making enough. These feelings use to really paralyze me and kept me from making choices that were aligned with my heart and my intuition.
One of my goals for 2015 is to change the way that I relate to money. Instead of coming from a place of scarcity and being afraid of not having money, I’m going to trust that the universe is abundant, and that my intuition combined with my ambition can create the prosperity I desire in all areas of my life.
My professional coach recently shared the most poignant quote by Albert Einstein: “The most important decision … is that we live in a Benevolent Universe.” That’s when it clicked. I’ve been operating under a misbelief that I have to play every decision safe (which often can mean “small”) because that’s how I comfortably make more money. I’ve been neglecting the fact that that the universe is friendly and always shows up for me when I follow my intuition. Sometimes this means taking a chance by making tough, scary choices that require me to really ask for what I want. Until now, I’ve called those moments when things work out as good luck when, in fact, it is the universe showing up and being friendly towards me as someone who has followed the intuition that ambition points towards. Note, this does mean I have to do my part: the universe meets me at the point of action.
Can you think of a decision you’ve made where you’ve played it safe because you’ve been concerned and worried about lack of money if you do something differently?
You might be asking yourself, “Well, how on earth do I break this pattern of how I relate to money?’” I’m so glad you asked!
What’s my simple process?
- Identify misbeliefs I have around money and at what age they started
- Replace those beliefs about money with new, current beliefs (be truthful!)
- Vocalize my new beliefs about money daily, so that they become a part of my consciousnesses
- Be compassionate with myself while I transition from this place of fear of not having enough to a place of knowing, abundance, and comfort.
One more thing: I have found that my fears around not making enough money can flair up even more around the holidays. This is why I’m particularly focused on practicing discernment, working my process to update my limiting beliefs. The goal is to transform my mindset to come from a place of neutrality when discussing or thinking about money. I’m committed to changing this pattern for 2015. Just the thought of that sounds so refreshing.
I’m excited to enjoy the fruits of my labor, have financial discussions with my husband without feeling a pit in my stomach, and, most importantly, being able to not just react to it. I’m excited to make choices about my life that don’t feel small because of the new way I’m going to relate to money. I’m confident that when coming from this state of being, I will truly experience an abundance of prosperity in all areas of my life.
If you can relate, I’d love to hear how you’re overcoming your anxiety and fear with money.
Wishing you loads of prosperity in 2015,
The 1st picture was taken of my husband and I at a super lovely restaurant celebrating my Masters in Psychology this Aug, while the 2nd was taken with girlfriends post dinner. It reminds me of how wonderful I can feel when I choose to embrace the whole experience for what it is and not worry about any of the cost involved.