Ambition

I Had An Epiphany On My Date Night…

I’ve missed you. I’ve been a little MIA these past couple of weeks. I don’t want to bore you with details, but I will sum it up as: LIFE happened. Things got moving fast, and I couldn’t slow down.  Maybe you can relate. It wasn’t until I went on my date night with John last night that it hit me.

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A Reflection on 2016 For A More Fulfilling 2017

2016 is coming to an end. How do you feel? Do you feel fulfilled? Have you expanded in ways that you didn’t know were possible?
One of the things I’ve become hyper-sensitive to is living in mediocrity. For me, this feels like Groundhogs Day. Or, even more so, I feel that dreaded wash-rinse-repeat feeling when I can go through the day or tasks with my eyes closed because I know it so well.

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My Simple Trick For Making Things Happen in 2017

Now what? You’ve declared how you want to feel or what you want, and might have even gone as far as setting a goal, but have you noticed how quickly life gets in the way? Suddenly, that thing you were going to change gets shoved to the side, and before you know it, 2017 is starting to look a lot like 2016.

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Join Me in the Spiritual Olympics

I am huge fan of the Olympics (that part doesn’t embarrass me). As I huddle around our iMac monitor (we got rid of our TV — that’s a different a blog post!) with my oldest son, watching the Men’s 4×100 take to pool, I realized (AGAIN) in that moment that anything is possible.

I found myself filled with butterflies and nostalgia for the wholeness I experienced when I was a little girl. I yearned for the no holds barred dedication to the belief that anything was possible. With commitment and self-discipline, the sky was the limit. Above all, there was the attachment to the belief at the end of the day, no matter what happened, I did my best. I knew I was good enough.

As we continued to watch, I saw that self-assured, positive childs’ spirit in my son as he cheered on the Americans. When the Americans didn’t win, he moved on in a split second. He got behind the Brit. Or, maybe it was the French? He didn’t get caught up with why the American lost. He wasn’t blindsided with beliefs that one country was better than the other, or that one athlete was faster, smarter and an all around a better athlete. Instead, without hesitation, he knew the American had given his all — he made it to the Olympics! — and that it was okay he didn’t win. It didn’t make him less than the other athletes. Then, he proceeded to cheer for the other athletes who came in 1st and 2nd. I was amazed at how he didn’t feel such disappointment (he wasn’t attached to the expectation of the American winning like us adults) and moved into acceptance so quickly.

Our children are such beautiful reminders of what it’s like to live in a world before life experiences take over and we form limiting beliefs that can stop us from playing a bigger game. They are constant reminders that anything is possible and by not being attached to an outcome allows for miracles to happen.  

What I’m a little embarrassed about is that I got rather emotional witnessing my son’s experience of the Olympics.

It made me realize that even though I’ve committed my life to self-growth, I still operate with several limiting beliefs that have hold me back from experiencing the best version of myself. I decided to enter my own ‘Spiritual Olympics’ and got to work with pen and paper with the intention of healing whatever it was that was causing my emotional reaction.  

It’s up to us to change within, so that we can elevate our own mindset and make a meaningful impact in how we engage in the world, with others, and with ourselves.

I am sharing the exact question I asked myself in the hope that it helps you heal, expand, and grow into becoming the woman, Mom, wife, friend you want to be.

“What is the biggest limiting belief you’re buying into today, and how would your life change if you were to let it go?”

You can write it down. You can talk it out with a loved one. Just get it out. I want you to just imagine setting it free. Give yourself permission to believe anything is possible, just as you did before you starting forming beliefs when you were young.

When you’re ready, test yourself. What’s one step you can take that will move yourself forward in the direction you want to go? Make it small. Just create movement. In order to experience our deepest desires, we must compete in our own Spiritual Olympics. Remember that dedication and self-discipline you had as a child? I’m encouraging you to connect with it. Let it be the thread that brings you back to the belief that yes, anything is possible, and you can experience the life you desire. Each day continue to invest in your soul and nurture yourself. 
Infinite love for you,

Sarah x

 

How to upgrade your mindset and say goodbye to self-doubt

It’s almost impossible to accomplish anything with a mindset that’s full of self-doubt. As you’ve probably already discovered you can’t take risks or steps forward when you’re full of question marks. Self-doubt leads to limiting beliefs, which do not empower you. Limiting Beliefs are a thought that runs through your head, particularly if it’s a repeated thought that arises against your will.

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Gratitude and Ambition: Together At Last

I’ve been thinking a lot about Gratitude since Thanksgiving is just a few days away. I keep having this thought around it and wonder if you have too. From as young as I can remember, I was taught to be grateful and happy for what I have. As an adult, I’ve noticed gratitude has been productized.

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How to pursue your goals AND relish the experience

Do you ever struggle being fully present with what you are doing in this moment? Perhaps occupied with a project at work when you are actually spending time with your children? Or maybe worrying about your child’s report card while taking a shower? And I’m not even going to say the word “Facebook.”

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How Do You Define Being a Success?

Last week, I wrote a blog post about becoming over-socialized to a particular way of living and how to let go of what we think we SHOULD be doing.  If you’ve engaged in that work, then you know the freedom that comes from consciously releasing a social norm or practice that doesn’t fit who you are now, whether they are norms about parenting, how you should look, or who you should be in the boardroom.

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What I Love About Being a Mom

In a recent conversation that felt more like a major blow up with my oldest son, he asked me, “Do you like being a Mom?” Initially, the voice in my head had quite a sarcastic response, but my heart immediately felt a heavy sigh. “Of course I do.” It was that moment when I realized {again} that this whole thing called Motherhood is pretty mind-blowing. Full stop.

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Working Moms…Are You Playing Small In Your Career?

momHi my fellow ambitious, working Mamas!

Speaking of light…I wanna know…Are you letting yours shine as brightly as possible in your career? Or, are you holding back your truth. I talk to incredibly ambitious Moms all day long, and I’ve noticed a theme. Not with everyone, but a good portion of us. I want you to be honest with yourself right now. If you can’t be honest, there’s no point. Right? So, be honest:

  1. Have you ever avoided asking for a promotion because you think it would mean more work, which, in turn, would mean less time with your children?

  2. Have you ever stayed in a steady, solid salary job because you think if you go somewhere else, you’d have to start over, jeopardizing your role as a Mom?

  3. Have you ever put on hold having another baby because you think your boss won’t take you seriously if you add to your brood?

  4. Have you ever been afraid to ask for flexible hours because you might hear the word NO?!

  5. Have you been dreaming about starting your own business, but you can’t possibly figure out how you would get it all done and be a Mom?

If I’m really honest with myself, there was a time I when I answered YES to most of these questions. As a result, I would end up self-sabotaging myself. I would play small. Can you relate? Sigh. From one ambitious working Mother to another, I said goodbye to this way of living quite some time ago and it was one of the best decisions I made. If this resonates with you, I invite you to do the same.

Can you give yourself permission to listen to the quiet voice inside of you (intuition), begging to be liberated and let it speak it’s truth? Start by writing down the first thing you hear. Don’t judge it. Don’t ignore it. Imagine yourself activating whatever it is that came forward.

Answer this question.

How would you experience life more truthfully?

I coach working women all day around this very topic, so please know if you feel stuck. I’m here for you and would love to support you in taking the plunge, however that may look for you.  We have a responsibility to share our best versions with the world and, most importantly, with ourselves.

Tweet this: “Always be a 1st rate version of yourself; not a 2nd rate version of somebody else” Judy Garland    


With truth,

Sarah

PS

Remember the song, ‘This Little Light Of Mine…’ now would be a perfect time to listen to it again!

 

Have You Ever Questioned if Being a Working Mom Is Worth It?

Gus1stday

Today marked the beginning of a new chapter. After six years of always having at least one of  our boys at home, our youngest son Gus started preschool. While this might sound insignificant compared to the days when they move out for good, it feels monumental to me. And here’s the funny part: I’ve been through this before…twice! But this time felt different. As I was walking out of Gus’s classroom this morning, I could hear him choking on his tears. I had a pit in my stomach. I started to play back the choice I made to become a working Mom, especially during my boys’ early years. I had been warned that time would fly by and before I knew it they would all be in school. And now they are.

As a working Mom, have you ever questioned your choice to work, even during the moments when you find your groove? Feeling like maybe you “should” be at home? Wondering “Was it worth it? Am I worth it?”

There are so many reasons why each of us work. During my discussions with working Moms, I often hear women say that they work because it’s what they know how to do, or that they’re the family breadwinner or that they couldn’t possibly imagine staying home all day with their children. I find that many working Moms feel that they have to work. I’ve observed that many working Moms struggle to claim their ambitions, as if following their non-motherly dreams prevents them from being amazing Moms.

This morning’s event made me question for a minute whether I can be the Mama I want to be and see my ambitions through in this lifetime. Do you remember the dreams you had when you were a little girl? For as long as I can remember, I dreamt of making a huge impact in the word and knew it would be made in a variety of waysthrough motherhood, service to others, creative expression….I could feel it.

Yet, when you feel like you might have missed out on one of your child’s memories, it’s so easy as a working Mom to ask yourself if working is worth it. Just remember, you can be any kind of working Mom you want to be. It is so important to remind yourself every day that YOU can be exactly who you want to be and you can walk in this world exactly how you want to walk.

Some tips for walking your walk:

  1. Replace “I should” statements with “I am”
  2. Practice gratitude for all the gifts (lessons) you’ve received, both while being a Mom and throughout your career
  3. Give yourself permission to have YOUR all and live a beautiful, purposeful life

I had a moment this morning when I questioned my choices. But after checking in with myself, I realized I’m exactly where I want to be. I’m feeding my soul the way I want to and making a huge difference in the lives of working Moms and women everywhere. The joy I get from watching these women grow into their best versions and step into their dreams is mind blowing. For me, I’m where right where I want to be.

If you’re feeling a bit stuck, but want to get clear on who you are, how you want to be and how you want to live it, let’s talk. Remember, how you show up in the world is a reflection of your inner reality. With my gaggle of boys all back in school, I’m opening up five more spaces in private practice, which means I have more room to make a difference.  You can email me here!

Much love and gratitude for each of you,


Sarah xx

 

 

What if You Effortlessly Efforted?

I’ve been meeting so many moms who express the desire to have more joy in their lives, that they wish it didn’t have to be so serious, but somewhere along the way they lost touch with their playful, joyful child self, and instead find themselves faced with their successful, serious woman self that they perhaps take pride in, but find that they don’t enjoy being very much.

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Wait! What Does It Mean To Be ‘Conscious Working Mama?’

GibbonsFam

When I was 7 months pregnant with my 3rd son, I decided I wanted more out of my life. I was feeling very stagnant. On a bit of a whim, I applied and was accepted to the University of Santa Monica. Two years later, I’m on the tail-end of receiving my Masters degree in Spiritual Psychology. The reason I’m telling you this is because, up until two years ago, I had no idea what it meant to live a ‘conscious’ life, let alone a ‘Conscious Working Mama’ life. I was 98% focused on satisfying my ego, until finally, I arrived at a place where I realized that that is an unattainable goal. Regardless of how idealistic my life might have seemed, I felt that something was always missing, and my light was dim. I was ready for a change, and I knew it had to happen inwardly, no more chasing outwardly experiences to drive happiness and fulfillment.

Fast forward two years and, for the first time, I feel awake — I feel conscious. I’m evolving on every level: spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Interestingly enough, my day-to-day routine hasn’t changed much, but, when I reflect inwardly, there are 3 practices that I now incorporate everyday that support and honor me as a Conscious Working Mama. They include:

  1. Acknowledging and embracing that, as long as I’m alive, school is in session, and life truly is about learning.
  2. If something is upsetting me, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Since I’m the only person who has dominion over how I choose to react, it’s up to me to explore the judgment that sits beneath my initial upset.
  3. Assuming that every person I come in contact with is a loving, compassionate soul. This has completely changed my reactions to potentially upsetting situations.

Being a Conscious Working Mama has no end. It is the longest days, shortest years; its an ongoing exploration. I invite you to wake up your consciousness’ and examine all areas of your life with this question in mind, ‘Where can I make small changes to experience more joy and meaning in my life, regardless of how many hours I work and how many children I’m raising?’ Keep checking back with CWM for easy tools and processes to help get you started.

Happy Exploring,

Sarah

Can A Working Mom Really Work From Home?

I get asked this question at least twice a week, and it goes something like this, “ How on earth do you get anything done from home?” Now remember, I’m an extreme case, because I have 3 boys, 5 years old and under, two of whom are still at home. We live in a modest size house and, while I do have an office, it also houses the boys coveted train table. So, I have lots of visitors throughout the day. My husband continually questions how I get anything done too. Like most of you, I work for a corporation, so with that comes expectations from the HQ offices and my fellow colleagues regarding my quality of work. Because I work from home, I do find that I hold myself to a very high standard of work, in effort to demonstrate that working from home can produce results. So, the answer is Yes! Before I share my tips as to how I’ve found success in working from home, I just want to share why I’ve chosen this route. First, let me start by saying I’m incredibly thankful for the gift of being able to work from home. I recognize that not every working Mom has this choice (yet), but I believe the world is waking up to the need of offering more flexibility to parents.

Because I’m able to work from home (incredibly appreciative), I still think its better than the alternative of spending time commuting to and from home to an office and then being away from home all day, is not a good use of my time and ultimately would leave me feeling disconnected from my children during the week. As some of you working Moms with children who are in school have already experienced, we still live in a world where it’s not necessarily conducive to a dual working parent household, so having one parent work from home, I feel also helps with stability and continuity.

Pre-schools end at 1pm, grade schools get out at 2pm, so not only does it help on a practical level, but it also allows me to be involved in the day-to-day experiences of having children. That being said, I’ve absolutely had to refine how I work from home given the addition of children (multiple) and the various ages. Here’s what I’ve found that works, and I welcome hearing your ideas too!

1. SET UP SOME SORT OF CHILD CARE – I have a nanny that arrives at 8:30 and leaves at 5pm (this is a luxury). It’s extremely important you have someone to watch your kids albeit for as many hours as you can afford and someone your children trust, like and want to be with even if you’re present. Trying to work from home without any care will result in major frustration.

2. SET EXPECTATIONS WITH YOUR CHILDREN EVERY MORNING – I talk to my boys about my ‘work schedule’ each day. While they may not know exactly what I do, it’s important for them to understand how to be respectful of Mama’s time when she’s working. They also know when they will see me, which helps manage their expectations (often we have lunch together if I’m at home for the day, or I’ll read to
the younger ones before putting them down for nap).

3. BE FLEXIBLE IN HOW YOU STRUCTURE YOUR DAY – I always start my day with a short list of 3 – 5 intentions or actions for the day. Sometimes, based on the children popping in and out of my office, I have to rearrange the priority of them. This regular set of interruptions use to frustrate me, and then I realized it’s okay. By being less rigid, the children actually pay less attention to me, and I’m able to focus on my actions for the day.

4. PLAN A 20 MIN BREAK TO VISIT WITH YOUR CHILDREN – After all, isn’t that a perk to working from home? I usually do this over lunch or I read to them before nap. It’s amazing how just 20 minutes of undivided attention fills their tanks up, and it fills up mine. I find my children are less likely to interrupt me when I’m working if I’ve communicated when I will visit with them. Knowing what to expect puts their minds at ease.

5. WORK SMART – If you have children that nap like I do, use that time wisely. Often, I do a lot of my work that requires critical thinking, difficult phone calls during those hours because I’m guaranteed silence. Look ahead at your day and plan accordingly.

6. HAVE A BACK UP PLAN – Sometimes none of the above works, and you have deadlines or phone calls to make and can’t be interrupted. I get it. So, have a back up plan that’s in a mile radius. I often walk up to my local library or coffee shop and set up office (side note: just make sure you bring your laptop charger!).

We all know being a working Mom is not for the faint of heart. I would argue that the challenges that come from working from home far outweigh the feeling of being isolated from your children all day and wasting time commuting back and forth. Again, I’m very thankful to be in a position to work from home and to have the opportunity to be a fly on the wall and hear my children play in the garden and squabble over toys throughout my work day. It keeps me connected to one of my greatest purposes in life: motherhood.