How do you prepare for an emotional conversation with your partner?
Do you dive into the deep end, hoping that it will all work out? I hear from so many ambitious women how their to-do lists are never-ending, work is ongoing, and they feel more and more disconnected from their partners.
Guess what? I’ve been there. It isn’t pretty. It isn’t fun.
Years ago, I was introduced to the concept of setting intentions. Note that this is not goal setting. Intention setting allows you to stay connected to your purpose and your intuition. It’s something that I infuse throughout my days because it’s a way for me to get laser-focused on how I want to experience what’s in front of me while remaining in alignment with who I want to be in the world. Sometimes there’s a misunderstanding that by setting intentions, you’re simply adding to your to-do list. Intentions are not to-do items.
Instead, you’re getting silent for a moment and getting crystal clear on how you want to feel in the upcoming experience. From there, you’re invoking an energy inside of yourself and asking the Universe to support you in receiving whatever it is that you need to receive, so you can be the person you want to be. Think about this as it relates to the three scenarios above and the different personality types you want to be in those various situations.
Another way to look at it is that you’re surrendering to the Universe and asking for help. Now, you may be thinking that sounds too woo woo. Hang in here with me!
What we know to be true is that the Universe meets us at the point of action; it’s there to support what we desire. By asking for what we want, we’re creating space for co-creation to happen. Some people call these experiences coincidences, but these are, in fact, moments when the Universe is working on our behalf.
Here are the steps to setting a powerful intention:
Activate your intuition.
State a clear intention that infuses what you want and how you want to experience it.
Detach from outcome expectations you may trap yourself into predicting once you’ve set your intention. Add the following language after your intention, “‘This something even better for my highest good.” By doing this, you’re trusting that if the experience doesn’t manifest the way in which you asked, it will turn out even better than you had imagined later because the Universe is working in accordance for your highest good.
Just one more tip: Use your words. These aren’t about getting fancy and using as many descriptive words as possible. This is about using words that resonate with you. Generally, short and simple is best!
Here are some examples for intention setting to get your mind going.
Hectic morning hour:
It’s my intention to be present, calm, and loving with myself, my children, and my partner as I begin the day.
Heading into huge presentation at work:
It’s my intention to show up fully and to deliver my message confidently and clearly, in a way that leaves others feeling inspired.
Conversation with your partner:
It’s my intention to be vulnerable and to listen with open mind and heart.
It’s my intention to help ambitious women live consciously with grace and ease. This or something even better for my highest good.
As you can see, you can frame intentions however you like and, most importantly, you want to have them handy, so you can review.
I’m encouraging each of you to try intention setting. Even if it feels a little out there. This has transformed the way in which I experience everything. From high profile work meetings, powerful coaching sessions, meaningful conversations with my husband, to heartfelt conversations with my children and girlfriends.
Here’s to intention setting and experiencing yourself fully,
I’m coming off a spiritual high! Last week, I gifted myself a four day intensive workshop with one of my mentors and a world class coach. Then, I attended Oprah’s Super Soul Sessions, featuring Oprah herself and ten of today’s most conscious thought leaders. A dream come true. Seriously.
I witnessed a whole lot of magnificence, a whole lot of inspiration, and whole lot of vulnerability. I realized that I felt most alive when those sharing were completely present, less concerned about nailing every point and more concerned with being real.
What mattered most was their vulnerability and energy vs. perfection of the delivery.
This got me thinking. How I can feel more connected to each one of you? It can be hard to initiate that connection over the Internet! Last week, I played this game with some colleagues and thought it was brilliant, so thought I would play it with you in effort to share more of the real me.
Here are Nine Things I Don’t Want You To Know About Me. My intention is to create connection and stimulate curiosity about who you’re here to become, so you can experience the fullness of who you are.
Without further ado, here are 9 things I don’t want you to know about me:
I get caught up with getting it right. Even though I know that taking action creates movement, I fall prey to stalling in pursuit of perfectionism.
Despite two years of planning, I was terrified to quit my stable, comfortable, corporate job to coach full time. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to ‘make it’ as a coach.
I cry at everything. When I say goodbye to friends, the thought of my seven year old turning eight, being in the presence of Oprah this past weekend. My husband tells me, “my feelers have feelers.” I’m overly emotional.
Until two years ago, I couldn’t tell you any of my dreams because I didn’t have any. I’d lost sight of who I was.
I would have preferred to have a brother or sister. Being an only child is lonely.
I raise my voice at my children more times than I’d care to mention. I’m embarrassed about how impatient I can be.
I have a huge inner critic; actually a committee of critics. It paralyzes me if I’m not careful and leads to major self-doubt.
I get defensive easily, especially with my husband, and it’s the cause of many of arguments. It’s something I have to work on everyday.
I’m afraid of dying, despite my deeply spiritual beliefs. The thought of not being with my family in the physical world scares me. This can make me feel like a fraud given what I practice spiritually.
Whew. I feel a bit exposed and lighter. I want to feel more connected to you so what about this idea: Will you share with me one thing that you don’t want me to know about YOU by emailing email@example.com?
I love this exercise because vulnerability assists you in facing your fears. I’m inviting you to try this and see where it takes you.
I use to think it was about having it all figured out. Once I had the road map, then I wouldn’t feel stuck. Then, I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed with family obligations. Then, I would feel fulfilled at work. Then, I would feel sexier and more playful. Finally, I would feel happier.
What I found was that I didn’t need a blueprint. While it certainly helped to have a vision, what got me out of feeling stuck and going for my biggest desires was my commitment. I think this quote sums it up so beautifully:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
– William Hutchinson Murray
Here’s my two-step process to help me get crystal clear on my commitments:
1. What are you most committed to in your life and are they in alignment with your values and greatest vision for yourself?
Or, are they serving as distractions, keeping you comfortable and allowing you to coast on cruise control?
Sit with that question for a minute. This is one of those questions I ask myself daily. Because it gives me insight into how to make my next move whether it be building out a new program in CWM, which personal friendships to invest time into or how I choose to spend a Sunday afternoon. Once you get clear on what you’re most committed to, ask yourself the following questions.
2. What part of me is making this decision? Is it my ego or is it from my highest self?
Our egos are quick to respond for us. Generally, this is what keeps us saying YES and wanting to please people before taking care of our own needs first. Consider yourself first when you’re evaluating where your decision is coming from. Slow down, sisters, when you ask yourself this question. There’s no need to rush.
In addition to being part of the CWM community, the common thread in the success stories of these ladiesis that they committed themselves to experiencing the truth of who they are. Just feel that for a minute. That’s huge. These ladies were determined to have the full experience of who they are. This sometimes meant living on their edge and changing things up drastically, so they could experience a different outcome. It also meant taking daily steps. What we know to be true is action creates movement — even the tiniest action.
I can really relate to feeling stuck. I’ve been there. I hate that feeling. Now, you’ve got an easy tool to raise your consciousness and course-correct. With your expanded consciousness, you will experience freedom. It’s time to step up and out of the illusion that something is impossible. It’s all possible.