A Weekend Challenge…Ready to Experience Being Enough?
As a working Mama, are you pushing yourself at all hours of the day? I recently asked a dear, working Mom friend of mine to email her daily schedule because I wanted to see how she organizes her day. She gave me permission to share my thoughts because we thought you could relate, and we thought it could be healing for all the working Moms out there striving for perfection, living in self-doubt, dwelling in comparison and feeling like you’re simply not enough (been there).
After I scanned her schedule, sure enough, it’s just what I suspected: She’s up at some crazy hour like 4:30 (which makes my head hurt to think about) and in bed around 11pm. That’s after she’s put in one more hour of checking emails. By the time I finished reading her schedule, I was exhausted. Mind you, from my perspective, she has a very successful career, she’s an incredible Mom, wife, and friend. She even says she’s happy going at this pace.
I asked her her about her weekends. How does she spend her time? Immediately, she launched into how she had a ton of work, wants to take a yoga class (not enough time), spend quality time with her children, but how every weekend feels jammed packed. What I observed from this conversation, and many more I’ve had with working Moms, is this misconception that if they don’t ‘work’ on the weekend, they’re not doing it right. I’ve heard every rationale such as ‘I left early one day, so I need to make up the time’ or ‘if I want to make partner, I have to put in these extra hours.’
Who can relate? Do you go into self-doubt if you don’t push yourself to work those extra hours on the weekend, attend every Saturday Soccer game or birthday party, so you can get Mom of The Year award? Not to mention the after effects of pushing ourselves from 4:30am to 11pm at night. We can’t act surprised when we feel disconnected from ourselves or our partners. We reek of exhaustion, resentment, and ‘Am I good enough’ syndrome?
Imagine, just this weekend, you entered a social experiment. Just for fun. Your goal is to strive for sufficiency, so you can experience confidence, relaxed and connected in meaningful, purposeful ways. Below is what I’d love for you to try. Have fun and observe how you feel after.
- Strive for efficiency, not perfection, this weekend. What can you do at 90% instead of 100%. This might mean delegating some of your responsibilities. It might mean saying no to a Soccer game and staying home and resting.
- Stay on your own yoga mat. When you feel yourself starting to compare yourself to others, move into gratitude immediately. Wish them well and then remind yourself of one thing or experience for which you’re thankful.
- Embrace the Mess! Try entering into the weekend with intentions instead of expectations. There’s a big distinction there. Intention is something you’re aiming to experience or do. Expectation is a strong belief that something will happen. Unless you have a crystal ball, there really is no way to predict the future.
Trust there is a new way to experience the weekend as a working Mom. You can absolutely show up on Monday and still be considered wildly successful and powerful and not have opened up your laptop at all. You can still be considered for that big promotion, even though you chose to consciously not send emails all Sunday afternoon.
As a social experiment, be a part of the Conscious Working Mama movement in rebuilding the archetype of a working Mom where we allow ourselves to feel whole inside, so we can truly experience self-confidence, self-trust, and the almighty feeling enough. Take ownership. Sit in the driver’s seat. Imagine what can happen when we give ourselves permission to play a little? Or maybe a lot….
Happy Weekend Working Mamas,