Month: September 2015

Are you trying to do it all? Remember…it takes a village…

iStock_Village

How many times have you caught yourself saying in the heat of the moment, “it takes a village to raise my child(ren),” followed by an apology or some sort of explanation about how you can’t do it all? First things first Mamas: there is no explanation or apology needed. We are conscious women, choosing to experience the best version of ourselves and, in order to do that, we sometimes to choose to gift our children to other people, because we simply can’t DO it all.

The purpose of a village has existed for centuries, and the essence is the same regardless of what country you’re in. In my experience, the meaning of it was the same in London as it’s been in LA. It’s your community, your people, your tribe, and together you have the choice to lean into it, dock with it, bounce off it, huddle within, draft off it, and most importantly receive support from it.

I was thinking about my own Village this week because I rely heavily on it. I had a moment of how would I be and  who I am without my village. Do you have a village? Do you use it? I mean really give yourself permission to use it?

As a working Mom of 3 boys with limited family around, there is absolutely no way I could do what I do, be who I want to be without the amazing support of my neighbors, friends, stay-at-home Moms, our nanny, and my husband. There have been a few times when I just can’t get to school pick up on time, and I’ve sent that text five minutes prior to pick up, “Can you pls grab Levi and let him know I’m on my way….”

Can you relate? Guess what…there is nothing wrong with us! We are human beings, doing the best we can do. Our plates are full.

I’ve realized my village extends beyond my quaint neighborhood in LA. There are my Mom friends abroad who I call upon late at night for parenting advice, or the ones I message across town at random hours in the day, and they always take two seconds to respond. All around me I’ve created a community that supports me. I have a sense of a team behind me, helping me, and creating space for me at times so that I can stop. I still operate the mission control tower at peak times of the day, though, I take great peace in knowing I don’t have to do it all.

Here’s a little a secret I’ve also discovered. I not only feel amazing when I allow myself to receive support but also when I also show up for others. There’s a sense of trust, camaraderie, and sisterhood. It’s just one more way of opening myself up to receive a sprinkling of joy throughout my day.

Here are four ways in which you can quickly strengthen your village and start using it. How freeing does that sound?

  1. First things first. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Let go of any self-criticism you have around not being able to do it all.
  2. Be intentional and look for people you energetically jive with. Nurture those relationships, same way you water a garden. (Note, the kids of everyone in your  “village” don’t have to be best friends). You put into it what you get out of it.
  3. Pay it forward. Simple acts of kindness are always returned in spades. Spiritual Law of the Universe.
  4. Keep your village organized in your phone so you can readily call upon them. Make sure you have all their details, first name, last name, correct email, and mobile phone.

Keep your village organized in your phone so you can readily call upon them. Make sure you have all their details, first name, last name, correct email, and mobile phone.

The ambitious part of you who is eager to enjoy more of the world and step into who it is you’re here to become will appreciate the part of you who is relinquishing control of the idea that you have to do it all.

In fact, we will be talking about the theme of amplifying your village during the entire month of October in the CWM Circle group. If you want more tools, the chance to receive one-on-one coaching, and an easy way to grow your village with very like-minded working Mamas, join the Circle now!

This is your chance to walk your talk and not just say, ‘It takes a village,’ but to actually leverage your village and feel what it’s like to truly be supported. No more being a martyr and saying, “I do it all….” Time to let that go. It’s not serving you. Time to receive some help.

Doesn’t that sound lovely?

Much Love,

SLG_sig

Have You Ever Questioned if Being a Working Mom Is Worth It?

Gus1stday

Today marked the beginning of a new chapter. After six years of always having at least one of  our boys at home, our youngest son Gus started preschool. While this might sound insignificant compared to the days when they move out for good, it feels monumental to me. And here’s the funny part: I’ve been through this before…twice! But this time felt different. As I was walking out of Gus’s classroom this morning, I could hear him choking on his tears. I had a pit in my stomach. I started to play back the choice I made to become a working Mom, especially during my boys’ early years. I had been warned that time would fly by and before I knew it they would all be in school. And now they are.

As a working Mom, have you ever questioned your choice to work, even during the moments when you find your groove? Feeling like maybe you “should” be at home? Wondering “Was it worth it? Am I worth it?”

There are so many reasons why each of us work. During my discussions with working Moms, I often hear women say that they work because it’s what they know how to do, or that they’re the family breadwinner or that they couldn’t possibly imagine staying home all day with their children. I find that many working Moms feel that they have to work. I’ve observed that many working Moms struggle to claim their ambitions, as if following their non-motherly dreams prevents them from being amazing Moms.

This morning’s event made me question for a minute whether I can be the Mama I want to be and see my ambitions through in this lifetime. Do you remember the dreams you had when you were a little girl? For as long as I can remember, I dreamt of making a huge impact in the word and knew it would be made in a variety of waysthrough motherhood, service to others, creative expression….I could feel it.

Yet, when you feel like you might have missed out on one of your child’s memories, it’s so easy as a working Mom to ask yourself if working is worth it. Just remember, you can be any kind of working Mom you want to be. It is so important to remind yourself every day that YOU can be exactly who you want to be and you can walk in this world exactly how you want to walk.

Some tips for walking your walk:

  1. Replace “I should” statements with “I am”
  2. Practice gratitude for all the gifts (lessons) you’ve received, both while being a Mom and throughout your career
  3. Give yourself permission to have YOUR all and live a beautiful, purposeful life

I had a moment this morning when I questioned my choices. But after checking in with myself, I realized I’m exactly where I want to be. I’m feeding my soul the way I want to and making a huge difference in the lives of working Moms and women everywhere. The joy I get from watching these women grow into their best versions and step into their dreams is mind blowing. For me, I’m where right where I want to be.

If you’re feeling a bit stuck, but want to get clear on who you are, how you want to be and how you want to live it, let’s talk. Remember, how you show up in the world is a reflection of your inner reality. With my gaggle of boys all back in school, I’m opening up five more spaces in private practice, which means I have more room to make a difference.  You can email me here!

Much love and gratitude for each of you,


Sarah xx

 

 

Something Big Happened, and I thought, “Did I DO enough?”

Rain (2)

This weekend I had a dear friend take her life. She was the person on the other end of the line a few years ago when I felt like my life was flipped upside down. She was there when I felt disconnected from my husband, when I had reached a glass ceiling in my career, when I felt overwhelmed by the responsibilities as a working Mom, and when I couldn’t remember the last time I had a dream. She was the coach that helped me navigate the rough waters and see that there was another way of living.When I got the call that she couldn’t meet for our scheduled walk because she had transitioned to the Spiritual world, I went into an old thought pattern questioning myself. Did I DO enough?

I’m a mother of three boys. I’m a wife, married to an entrepreneur. I run a thriving business. I was tired. So, did I drop the ball? Could I have saved her? If I had only been more available. What if we had scheduled our walk for last Friday instead of this Tuesday. Would that have made a difference? My mind was racing. This was a similar feeling I had experienced for years as a working Mom. Constantly questioning, am I doing enough for the children, for my husband, for my clients? I was left feeling like all my efforts still weren’t enough.

I took some time yesterday to work my own process since this is what I talk to many of my clients about and had ah-ha moment. I have an opportunity to be gentle with myself and practice three simple tools that I coach other women into using and that have given me so much mileage in my own life.

1. I did the very best I could do in every correspondence with my friend at the time. Do you operate under that spiritual law in every situation you’re in?


2. By listening and supporting my own responsibilities first, I was able to show up and just BE loving towards my friend. I never offered advice. I just listened. It wasn’t a matter of me DOING anything for her.


3. I’m only responsible for myself (and my children to a certain age). I can’t assume responsibility for other people’s choices. Do you assumer over-responsibility?

As a working Mom, I find it’s so easy to question myself (after all we have a zillion decisions to make throughout the day) and often I’m left with the biggie, “Am I doing enough?” when I feel like I’m in downpour of overwhelm and responsibilities. However, I have found using tools like these is an easier path to feeling whole, and calm with much less resistance. I encourage you to try them on.

I have so much for my friend and the journey she is on. I’m thankful for the opportunity I had to just BE with her. I do believe we have a choice to be conscious working COMPASSIONATE mamas, even in the midst of all the chaos at any given time.

Hug yourself and loved ones tightly,

Sarah x