A Trip To ER…
I could have gone either way. I was sitting at a client lunch meeting and saw my husband call, but didn’t want to be rude to my clients by picking, so I turned my phone over. Thus, missing his following five more calls, multiple texts, and several calls from my oldest son’s school.
Because my husband and I both work, we weren’t readily available when the school called. In fact, my husband was an hour away at a conference that he was attending for a couple of days. it wasn’t until my lunch finished and I saw a text from my “emergency contact” that read, “call school now” that it all clicked. My son had been injured. While I had been sitting at lunch, my son was sitting in the nurses office with a huge gash to his head that clearly needed stitches.
I’ll be honest. I had a very quick split moment of panic, wondering how long he had been sitting there, wondering if he was scared and, even more so, wondering if he was feeling alone. I was disappointed I wasn’t by his side. I couldn’t be two places at once.
Right then and there, I made a choice to act differently than I had in the past. I didn’t need to go into panic mode and have an emotional reaction. It wasn’t anybody’s fault that this happened. I didn’t need to feel guilty for not being readily available. That’s an old pattern, and I’ve retired it.
What I know to be true, is that there’s always something for me to learn in every experience. As I worked through the logistics of coordinating getting my son to ER, which required my husband to drive back into the city, it became very clear. The lesson was around trust. Life happens, and it happens at many speeds and, particularly as a working mom, it’s not always at the speed we’d like. What I realized is that my son was OK. He had the most amazing experience being taken care of my by the incredible school nurse, my husband arrived within an hour, and he received a huge compliment from ER doctor (that he was the best patient out of all 60 he’d seen that day!).
There was no need for me to rush home to be with him, and I certainly didn’t need to add any drama to a situation that was thankfully drama-free. All I needed to do was trust that I had made smart choices along the way to prepare for any situation like this and, when it came down to it, the preparation I had put in place provided more then enough of a positive, loving experience for my son. He quite liked hanging out in the nurses office. He was proud of his stitches. He learned a lesson that he can survive without me rushing to his side. Likewise, I was reminded to trust in the decisions that I’ve made (in this case the plans I had in play if there were ever to be an emergency). I was also reminded to be compassionate with myself. As a working mom, I can’t be two places at once, and my son was absolutely okay and there was no need for me to dramatize anything or even worse go into self guilt, because I couldn’t get to his side immediately. My consciousness expanded through this experience, embracing a new way of living my life, that included a lot more trust and self compassion.
How are you choosing to live your life? Is there room for more self trust and compassion? I want to hear from you!